Friday, November 26, 2010

Obama - What Really Happened to the President’s Lip – 10:00 A.M. November 26th 2010



The First Lady on the war path again, hated everything about her life in the White House and the man that caused it, the President. In the middle of her rage she took aim with a left handed backswing that could have knocked out an elephant. Her wedding ring caught his lip with a tearing motion that sent the President screaming to the floor in pain. Three secret service men including Jimmy rushed into the private chambers and helped the President up from his K-O. Blood was all over his shirt and face as his wife glared at him like a panther that wasn’t quite finished with her prey. They rushed him down to the White House medical facilities for a cold compress and to gather his top aides to decide what to do about this embarrassing incident. Valerie suggested they shuffle him off to his gym and stage him walking out of it holding his mouth with a hanky, which is exactly what they did. The cover-up would help quell any questions about his now ballooning lip that needed a bunch of stitches for sure.


This was all he needed with North Korea on the verge of bombarding another sector of the South and U.S. war ships now positioned to offer a counterattack if provoked. Things were falling apart around the world as the seeds of his surrender tour a year earlier were now sprouting like Jack’s beanstalk.

Wikileaks was now threatening to expose many of the Administration’s secret communiqu├ęs between allies and other members of the administration. That was the part that concerned them the most, the inter-office name calling of allies. Some of the name calling wasn’t so nice and if there ever was a time when the true colors of this President were to be revealed it would be now. That’s why the White House had spent the last two weeks preparing those very allies for the damaging insults they would soon hear as the 664th day of the Obama Presidency blamed his fat lip on a Latino elbow.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Obama – The General is Coming – High Noon November 14th 2010

As the President peered out of a porthole on Air Force One, his flying trailer-like home away from home inched closer and closer to the mess he left over ten days ago. While he was away accomplishing nothing it seemed that the mess he had created back home had grown exponentially. The announced resignation of David Axelrod was expected by him, but he had hoped David could have stayed a bit longer. This left only second and third stringers to guide him through his last two years in office and he was feeling again, a little abandoned by his friends from Chicago.


What most of America knew by now was that the clowns that he brought with him into the White House had tried to guide him to a more successful Presidency. But at every turn he felt he knew better and ignored their advice. So, they are now leaving in droves, after all why stick around for the hangings since it could be their necks being stretched.

This weekend was especially important since Karzai in Afghanistan announced he wanted U.S. troops out, and the head of the British military said, “al-Qaeda couldn’t be beat.” What was not reported and virtually flew under the media radar was that Senator John McCain had just spent a few days in Afghanistan with General Petraeus and Karzai. Most important was McCain’s meeting with Petraeus. It was decided on a swirling dusty battlefield in central Afghanistan that America would sacrifice the war temporarily for the leadership back home of the General. The fix was in as all the dominoes started falling into place. With a well orchestrated announcement by Karzai to pull troops, the contrived coup de grace for the coalition troop’s expedition, into a seemingly unwinnable war in Afghanistan, was proclaimed.

This was what the President had been seeking since he took office, no wars in Asia at any cost. The Joint Chiefs had an iron grip on the war that not even the President could release. With the elected President of Afghanistan now calling for the removal of troops, even they had to let loose. The only wild card now was, if Karzai didn’t live, a very big possibility considering the forces at work.

But, closing out the Afghan War was something he could hang his tattered hat on and help his re-election bid. Of course, with all good news comes the bad. The end of the Afghan War would free up General Petraeus for a run for President in 2012. This was something the President was not looking forward to. A war hero and a General who is admired by all in congress and America would make him look like the amateur he is and he would do anything to stop his bid for office. The General intimidated the young and inexperienced President and it showed every time they met. Any debates between the two would be disastrous for the President, for the intimidation would show all over his face and in his voice. Petraeus was the man he knew he couldn’t beat as the 652nd day of the Obama Presidency slipped on his shades while admiring the glaring white ice caps over the North Pole or was that PalinLand?

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Obama – Veterans Day - Generation Handout – 5:34 A.M. Thursday, November 11th 2010

Ever since Dave entered government service, first joining the State Department in 1981 than on to the C.I.A., he always felt at war. His five years prior in the United States Marine Corp helped solidify his feelings. It wasn't so much that, he was at war, but the  country was at war, and in fact it was. Most Americans, after Vietnam in the early ‘70s, stretching as far as 1991 with the invasion of Kuwait, felt the country was at peace. The superiority of U.S. forces had a way of insulating most Americans in those days from the real threats out there that could take their way of life down very quickly. With a volunteer army and no working draft, kids for decades grew up without the fear of being dragged into the military to fight what was perceived as regional skirmishes around the world by U.S. and NATO forces.


Until nine eleven America had a full generation of adults who had not experienced a direct threat to the country. They grew up without worrying about Soviet subs patrolling off both coasts armed with instant death that was calculated down to twenty minutes. After nine eleven this generation knew of a threat but it wasn’t as threatening as a giant Soviet Union with its bogus economic system. Most within this generation were raised as if in a test tube, insulated from everything, from pedophiles to ICBM’S.

It was now that generation that was doing double duty in Asia fighting a religious war that biblically was foretold so many years ago. They volunteered, they didn’t cry about it, and they served with pride as the country for the most part didn’t even know they were gone. It was the rest of that generation that Dave worried about. It was the ones who couldn’t recognize a socialist doctrine if it hit them between the eyes.

It could be said that at this moment the West had a presence in Asia, and that’s about it. Stalemate could best describe our situation there. Dave knew this, and with the lack of resolve from our current President, it was just a matter of time before the whole region fell to Iran. He knew we were losing real ground on the home front, with this uninvolved generation expecting a handout from a handout government. What was the point of fighting for all these decades when our own kids were embracing a socialist Congress and President? It was capitalism and democracy we were fighting for, right? Dave pondered his embedded beliefs.

Needless to say, Dave knew the President was now in South Korea speaking to our troops for Veterans Day, the troops that represented that portion of a generation worth their weight in gold as the 649th day of the Obama Presidency took daggers from 19 of the G-20 members.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Obama – The Reckless Caesar – 1:33 A.M. Monday November 8th 2010

For Jimmy it was like old home week. Nearly the entire Secret Service was with the President in Mumbai and it gave him a chance to catch up with some friends. He had met all of them while attending the Basic Criminal Investigation Training Course at Glynco, Georgia. He had never seen so many of his fellow guards together in one place and at one time. After speaking to many of his old buddies, it was agreed by all that they had never seen such a show of power and strength put together and all wondered why.


Needless to say, the President’s trip could only be compared historically to Teddy Roosevelt and Mark Anthony’s visits to Japan and Egypt. The U.S. battleships sitting just outside the mouth of Mahim Bay stood symbolically as Obama’s big-stick, a technique used by both historical figures to get their way. But, Jimmy after working with Dave at the C.I.A., knew that the show of force wasn’t for the Indians, it was for their neighbors to the west, Pakistan.

The whole trip had messages on multiple levels and could be considered by many as reckless and by some as brilliant. It was clear that the President was attempting to look Nixionian by opening up the soon-to-be most populous country in the world. By 2030 China would be the second most populous country, leaving India with the most people.

Most economists had anticipated this move by the U.S. but were puzzled by the President’s timing. Politically he had just destroyed his party back home in the midterm elections and was desperately searching for some achievement he could claim for his 2012 re-election bid. The naysayers claimed that this move was too soon and too bold. They felt that it would jeopardize the cozy relationship with Beijing that had been around for nearly forty years. It also put pressure on the U.S. debt that China now held. Piss them off, and they might foreclose, that was something the President wasn’t prepared for. At first blush many wondered if in his desperation to save his own political hide he was jeopardizing a well oiled trading partner in China.

This move also put more unneeded pressure on Muslim Pakistan, who has been battling India for decades over Cashmere. By his announcement today that the U.S. would back India being a permanent member of the United Nations Security Council, it sent ripples through the embattled neighbor to the west and to the north, China. A trade war with China would not sit well with the American people since everything they used is made there. If China wanted, they could, and rightfully so, increase the cost of living for the average American overnight, something the Administration would be blamed for.

It was as though the President had divided Asia in one fell swoop. This was leaving Iran to control Pakistan and Afghanistan while the U.S. allied with India, alienating China and setting up possible conflicts with Japan.

What was remarkable about all of this was that it was possible that this President hadn’t even considered all that had been mentioned and that he was doing this only to have a single talking point for his re-election campaign in 2012. That was the narcissistic brilliance of it all as the 647th day of the Obama Presidency took an extra moment to admire himself in the mirror as clocks in the Taj Mahal Palace Hotel momentarily stopped.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Obama – The Two Billion Dollar Presidential Vacation - 1:00 P.M. Wednesday November 3rd 2010

The news was grim for the Democrats as Dave scrolled through the election results on his special newsfeed from the Agency. He felt the midterm elections were going to be a game changer and they were. Now Washington had to survive two years of gridlock when they should be taking decisive steps to save themselves, the country that is. But that was Washington in all its confusing glory.


Dave stretched out on his executive chair and gave out a big yawn. He was still tired. Four hours sleep was about all he could fit in these days with suitcase nukes floating all over the place and not one lead, as of this morning. Langley was buzzing with activity this afternoon due to the letter bombs sent to many European heads of state, and God knows who else. There was now a lone shooter taking potshots at military buildings throughout the D.C. area, with one happening this morning. When was this shit going to stop he thought, as he sipped on his after-lunch double espresso?

It was no secret that after Obama’s inauguration it was open season for all the kooks and nuts in the world and everyone in Washington was on the hit list as targets. That was one of many reasons why Dave was now packing again. He knew that this shooter was up to no good and would eventually start targeting people. He no doubt was a Muslim who was looking for a one-way ticket to his seventy-two virgins. He most likely got his orders from Yemen where the letter bombs originated. Dave saw a perfect symmetry to all of this and it pleased him in a distorted C.I.A. sort of way. It was now one P.M. and Dave clicked on his office TV to watch his leader make a fool out of himself. The losses last night were massive and the President’s face showed it. He thought how complex this man must be to have so much evil spinning around him while most suspected but couldn’t quite prove it. His persona was very much like Tiger Woods, winning tournaments while being married with kids and juggling four or five mistresses as the world thought they were watching the perfect man on the tour. It was all a sham and it looked like our very own President was doing the very same thing to the American people, screwing them. Still, most in the country thought of him as one cool cat.

It sickened Dave to watch this dangerous clown on TV and he switched it off near what seemed to be the end. He had so much going on. This regal Presidential two billion dollar trip to Mumbai, India was still a mystery to most including Dave’s people in the Agency and the Pentagon. There was a lot of speculation as to why the trip was so elaborate and it would be the most expensive trip taken by any American President which wasn’t going down well with the peasants. The President did his dandiest to keep it quiet but a bunch of boys in the Agency got wind of the details and made it known to Rush Limbaugh. That’s when the shit hit the fan and the rest of the country went nuts as the 642nd day of the Obama Presidency felt the cold hands of his father, pulling him down, into his grave.