5:22 A.M. Thursday July 8th 2010 - Obama and Big-Breasted Women

The President awoke to an agreement for his Russian spy swap. He felt better knowing that this political and criminal bomb was defused and that many of his supporters would escape resignation and jail time.
He then rushed to make his early morning flight to Kansas City, Missouri. He departed from the South Lawn and arrived at Kansas City International Airport two hours later. In the afternoon, the President moved on to Smith Electric Vehicles, where he toured the facilities and delivered a lackluster speech on the economy to unenthused workers.
Later that day the President campaigned and attended fundraisers for Senate candidate Robin Carnahan who was trailing in the polls.
Later in the afternoon, the President traveled to McCarran International Airport in Las Vegas, Nevada the city that truly hated him more than any other. He knew he would get flack from the Mayor so he stayed clear of any confrontations. He was only there to support Senator Harry Reid who also was trailing in the polls.
The President was planning a sleepover in Sin City with, of course, no opportunities to use it like most red-blooded-American males would. He knew if he was seen at a slot machine or a strip club it would be over for his supporters and most of all Michelle. After all, how would It look with almost 10% unemployment, an oil leak in the Gulf and a zillion other things that have gone wrong, he was having a gay old time in Vegas with big-breasted women and big money in the crap pit. But he did consider the big-breasted part and wondered how he could get away with it.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, Valerie Jarrett senior advisor and assistant to the President, was running the White House like her own little house on the prairie. She was now in the process of forcing out many of the old Bush White House employees with impossible requests. If there ever was a wicked witch of the White House she had definitely arrived in the form of Valerie. Valerie was an old Chicago friend who had so much dirt on the first family she could end his career in a State Street minute. Why else would a truly evil women like her end up in the Obama Administration.
She had a long lunch with some Chicago friends that were visiting and had a few too many adult beverages which set her brain swirling. She came back and decided to visit the Oval Office while the President was away. While walking around the President’s desk she pulled out his chair and plopped her big ass in his seat. The chair had the ability to swing completely around. So off she went spinning at top speed as the office became a blur. She attempted to stop the chair, but the feet from this 4 foot 9 inch witch couldn’t reach the floor as she fell off in a heap. She stood up, wobbled, gazed down at the Presidents clean desk and spit the biggest spit anyone could conjure up. She thought to herself this should be mine, all mine as the 524th day of the Obama Presidency spat on.