Now The Eagle

Obama – The President Goes To Church – 11:23 A.M. Sunday September 19^th 2010

St. John’s Episcopal Church on Lafayette Park was the scene of the President’s third Christian pilgrimage this year. It was obvious to all that he was still trying to shake the Muslim label most of America had attached to him. The President along with his lovely wife Michelle sat in the pew facing the minister and wished they were in Chicago and out of this fishbowl. He daydreamed while listening to the ancient stories from a book he could care less about. Michelle was bored too, as she kept looking at her cell phone with messages from her friends back in the windy city.


The President was having problems with the First Lady after that revealing comment she made to the First Lady of France about what she thought of her job as First Lady. Things hadn’t been very good in the royal bedroom either since Barack was out most nights meeting with God knows who. She was unhappy with the whole gig and it was starting to affect him too.

His church going this sunny Sunday morning wasn’t just to cover up his true religious belief, but to make contact with a messenger from his handlers in the Middle East. Dr. Ziad Asali, M.D., a Muslim, founder and president of the American Task Force on Palestine, just happened to be speaking on the subject of “Prospects of the two-state solution in the Middle East.” It was a mouthful but it was enough for the President to make sure he was there to transfer important information regarding the Peace Talks between Israel and the Palestinians. If only the Israelis knew how they’d been sold out by this President. After sixty years of fervent support of the Israeli state, this President was selling them down the river by sabotaging the talks and condemning Israel for their lack of resolve.

After the sermon the President along with four of his guards went into a back office at the church and in a private part of that office the Dr. was waiting to instruct the President verbally. His guards stayed out of the private area while the two spoke. Jimmy had been making sure that he was close to the President, very close. Luckily for Dave back at the C.I.A., Jimmy just happened to be on this Sunday’s church run and he was now only inches away from the conversation between the man that was instrumental in suing the FBI for not having enough Muslim agents on board, and the President of the United States.

Jimmy knew this smelled and moved in close to listen to what was said. After nearly twenty minutes the President exited the small office within an office and the detail moved on back to the White House. Jimmy’s hands were noticeably shaking, so much so, that one of his buddies asked what was wrong. He ignored the question and accompanied the First Family back to the White House which was a small walk, and then quickly had himself relieved. Jimmy walked onto the green grass at the front of the White House, undid his tie, and tried to digest the disturbing conversation he had just heard as the 597th day of the Obama Presidency unraveled his prayer rug.