Wednesday, July 28, 2010
12:33 P.M. Tuesday July 27th 2010 - Obama - Tipper Gore Payoff
“He’s a whore, a God damned whore,” Tipper barked over the telephone to her lawyer. “Yes, he sure is and these new alleged affairs just make it easier for us, Tipper,” Wayne said right back at her. It appeared that her now infamous and soon to be ex-husband, former Vice President Al Gore was on everybody’s shit list. The property settlement was massive and Wayne’s huge gamble with the Obama Administration could net Tipper close to a billion dollars of which he could collect upwards of $100 million after taxes. It was risky and unethical but the numbers were too big to pass up. It was Wayne’s idea to blackmail the Administration over Al’s greenhouse gas hoax. Normally, Wayne was pretty ethical compared to most lawyers. He represented some pretty high powered clients in the music business in Nashville and he always tried to keep his reputation squeaky clean, but when Tipper walked him through three hours of admissible evidence, proving the climate idea was a hoax, he just couldn’t resist the opportunity of a lifetime. He knew if he pulled this off it would be a lifestyle changer.
He finished his $950 phone call with Tipper and quickly phoned Washington to follow up on his last conversation with the Administration’s point man. After thirty minutes of stalling, Wayne realized that this was not going to be easy. It looked as though Obama and the leadership were going to give him a hard time getting the money. He thought of reducing his offer, but that would come off as looking weak, so he bit his lip and hung up.
Wayne walked out of his three story office building with his name on it and headed over to his two year old red Ferrari F430. He loved driving this car. Prior to his F430 he had an F360 which didn’t quite rock his world like this baby. He slipped into it and set those pistons roaring as he tore out of the parking lot with the tuned exhaust roaring. As he headed down a deserted highway 202, two black SUV’s pulled up behind him and with one volley of gunfire ruined Wayne’s day. He swerved but it didn’t help. The shots just missed his head and shattered his windshield and with the top down glass flew everywhere. He was now hitting 100 mph with no windshield and a bunch of killer’s right on his ass.
Luckily for Wayne, an off-duty cop had just pulled onto the highway and was now in pursuit. The two SUV’s pulled off in different directions as the cop came after Wayne at breakneck speed. He pulled Wayne over after about a mile of chasing and proceeded to give him three tickets for speeding, broken windshield and resisting arrest.
Meanwhile back in a lonely hospital room in Washington D.C. Rahm finished up his phone conversation with the four retired Chicago cops who missed ol’ Wayne shouting, “ I don’t care what you do, just get him,” as the 543rd day of the Obama Presidency rang for more pain killers.