Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Obama - It's All About Saudi Arabia - 8:00 P.M. Tuesday August 31st 2010

“That fucker never served, how does he know?” Jimmy spouted out during the President’s speech ending our combat mission in Iraq. The President went on with his short and now remodeled Oval Office speech. Dave noticed the President's demeanor as being spent and lifeless. He gave just credit to his predecessor George Bush, who started the ball rolling over there. That must have made his supporters on the far left go nutso, Dave thought. Dave was now juggling thoughts between the President’s speech and Jimmy’s narration of the speech. His mouth almost dropped after hearing Jimmy’s comment about him not serving. For a Secret Service guy he sure seemed hostile towards his boss. He was hoping he could get to the bottom of what Jimmy was witnessing while guarding the President. It now appeared there was a connection between the hostility and what the President was doing. This all needed to jibe, the rug, Jimmy’s observations and the Commander-in-Chief.

Dave and Jimmy had arranged to meet this evening to discuss what he observed while on the job protecting the President. After the speech, Jimmy unloaded with something that Dave didn’t expect. It was a question. It was a question that a guy like Jimmy shouldn’t be asking. “What is Operation: Alice in Wonderland?” Wow, Dave thought, how could an S.S. man get access to a high level code name like that? Dave paused and looked across at Jimmy wondering how to handle this one.

After a few moments Dave thought he’d best let Jimmy talk and he should ask the questions. Answering a question with a question was the first sign of a lie or deception. He wondered if Jimmy was smart enough to know that signal.

“OK Jimmy, what did you hear and see?” “I saw and heard plenty and as for that operation, you might as well kiss it goodbye.” Dave had worked on the operation for most of his time with the Agency; any talk of it being dismantled made him nervous. Too many American troops and operatives had died enforcing the operation for this President to just pull the plug before attaining its goal of complete containment of Iran.

Jimmy went on and described how high level reports were being strewn around the President's bedroom while down in the Gulf of Mexico. He went on and described two other incidents of similar occurrences in Chicago and New York. The reports would have been left for the next occupants if it wasn’t for him noticing.

Dave sat back in his modern Scandinavian leather chair and stared at Jimmy before he shot back at him, “Well Jimmy, did you read them?” Jimmy had the highest clearance anyone in his job could have, but it wasn’t high enough to read that shit, Dave knew. Jimmy thought if he stepped over this line and answered yes to Dave’s questions, he could be charged with several criminal acts. He sure as hell didn’t want to go to jail, but something in him said talk to Dave, he would understand. For the short time they knew each other Jimmy trusted Dave and unknown to Jimmy, Dave trusted Jimmy.

Jimmy paused for a second and said yes to Dave’s question as he spilled the beans on what the operation was all about and was quite candid about some of his findings. He found it amazing that the invasion of Iraq wasn’t about weapons of mass destruction nor Iraq’s oil fields, but more about Saudi Arabia’s oil fields. The Saudi’s knew of Tehran’s ambition to take over their oil fields and since the West benefited most from the flow of oil coming from them it would be the West that would set up a buffer zone between Iran and Saudi Arabia. That buffer zone was called Iraq as the 578th day of the Obama Presidency was looking forward to Middle Eastern peace talks tomorrow like going in for a root canal.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Obama - Spy, What Spy? - 1:22 P.M. Monday August 30th 2010

“She did what?” the President said as he nearly threw the phone across the office at his second flat screen TV. “I just can’t believe she would do that,” he yelled. It seemed that the President’s mother-in-law was defending the Obama name on national talk radio when she called into Laura Ingraham’s Show today. She blasted Laura for mocking the President and his golf game and quickly hung up after being found out by the host. This was all he needed, an amateurish publicity stunt by his wife’s mother. After listening to the tape on YouTube he calmed down and was very proud of her for standing up for him. Still, it didn’t look good. “We need to keep a tighter rein on her wagging tongue," he said, as he headed off for more public statements and meetings.

The events or should we say self-inflicted events over the past two weeks appeared to be taking its toll on him. His vacations were now looking like he was running away from his problems. He looked and acted clueless as to how to solve them, and his advisors were fresh out of ideas since they were from the book of lazy economics of spend, spend, spend. Jobs, stock market, housing, excessive government spending, taxes and on and on the pile grew as he looked like he was running harder and faster away from it all. Well, that’s how it looked to everyone on the outside, but that was the plan, to dismantle the magnificent engine that had driven capitalism for two hundred years and the President was doing a masterful job of doing just that.

Jimmy Jackson was now back in D.C. and on leave for five days from guarding the President. He still had Dave’s card and was fingering it and thinking, should I call him, should I tell him? Knowing that if he collaborated with the C.I.A. there’d be hell to pay, for sure. But what Jimmy had seen and experienced guarding this President bothered him immensely. Jimmy was an American through and through and what he saw was not American as he dialed his cell phone and called Dave. Dave picked up on the run, literally. He was jogging along the Potomac and the phone nearly slipped out of his sweaty hand as he answered Jimmy’s call.

Not much was said but arrangements were made. They both knew that any kind of contact between them would look like the Agency was spying on the President, which it was, as the 577th day of the Obama Presidency had a long talk with the mother-in-law.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Obama - The Eminence of War - 12:45 P.M. Sunday 29th 2010

Damn, the President thought to himself as he descended from AF-1 into the muggy air of New Orleans. He was officially there to commemorate the fifth anniversary of hurricane Katrina’s devastating attack on this city in a soup bowl.  Now, everyone who was part of his inner circle knew he wasn’t there for that at all. In fact he was there for an entirely different reason. His unofficial polls were now tumbling into the upper thirties and his dynamic political duo of Emanuel and Axelrod suggested he go down there to remind the American people just how bad it was having George Bush as President for eight years.  But it didn’t matter to the President he hated the Gulf States, the food, the people and most of all the weather. It was hard to understand why the dynamic duo sent him down there since the reminder of Bush and the utter failure of both administrations to rebuild the city was a push, but he was there and he make the best of it.
Dave back at Langley had now confirmed the President's involvement with George's GPS planted prayer rugs from Eastern-Africa. He reported to a not so surprised Secretary of Defense who advised him to keep his mouth shut about this and to stay on the trail. Gates had already announced his future departure for next year, but he was fully engaged and wanted more information.
Dave drove back from the Pentagon with his sunroof open and the air blasting. It was about ninety degrees and only a few white clouds floated around in the jet-blue sky. He flipped on the radio to catch the news on WTOP. The normal sports scores were being rattled off as he squeezed between two semi-tractor trailers at his usual eighty-five mile per hour clip when the announcer broke in with a breaking news shout-out. It appeared that a prominent Israeli religious figure had urged genocide of Palestinians in the Gaza and that the Prime Minister was backing away from his support of the religious leader. Dave knew this man and was currently working with him on Operation: Alice in Wonderland. The Rabbi roll he played was simply a cover for the fact he was a Major with Israel’s equivalent to the C.I.A., the Mossad. Dave knew by just listening to this radio broadcast that Israel would not come to an agreement with the Palestinians in their forced peace talks this week and that war would shortly commence. The Rabbi’s announcement today was a technique used by the Israelis to get information out as quickly as possible by using the mass media as a conduit. It worked, and all who needed to know, knew, as the 576th day of the Obama Presidency was headed smack dab into another dilemma. 

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Obama - Bring Me the Head of Glenn Beck - High Noon Saturday August 28th 2010

Rahm and David the President’s two top political chiefs watched C-SPAN’s coverage of Glenn Beck’s rally at the Lincoln Memorial all morning and afternoon. Both men wanted to pull the cord on the cable channel as they saw hundreds of thousands of Americans, black, white, Asian and Native American speaking of God and country. For some reason both men started feeling a little smaller as the American spirit was now being packaged and sold successfully to Americans still on the fence politically. They wished they could have captured this well run political rally disguised with a God and country theme. To think that these rank political amateurs were pulling off a rally as well as their leaders in Denver during the Presidential campaign of 2008 was unthinkable. This clown Beck was no longer just a face on a TV tube, but a political force driving Americans into the arms of conservative Republicans running for congress in November.
Rahm threw his beer can at the screen as Beck evoked Jesus Christ and American patriotism in one breath while thousands cheered him on. Tears rolled down cheeks while little children playing in the grass as the Rockwellian scene unfolded for all America to see. The beer can splattered the remainder of its content all over the place and the smell of brew was now in the air. “I can’t watch this anymore David, he’s got to be stopped.” “Yeah, but how, without getting caught,” David said. “I’ll figure something out,” Rahm said as he looked up thinking he heard choppers on the roof of this one story rented cottage on Martha’s Vineyard.
David Axelrod dialed the President who was on the other side of the island and compared notes with him. The President was watching also and was thoroughly pissed that someone was actually upstaging him. His egocentric disorder was now kicking in at full speed and he was spitting bullets as David listened to the leader of the free world rant like a little child. David thought to himself, what have we done to America by putting this ego-maniacal post-America Muslim theorist into power. Rahm and David, being Jewish in some weird sort of way agreed that something was wrong with the position they now occupied as the 575th day of the Obama Presidency was sinking further with every one of Beck’s comments.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Obama - In the Rough - 1:23 P.M. Friday August 27th 2010

“Great shot Mr. Mayor,” the President said as Mayor Michael Bloomberg of New York City drove his ball off the tee, down the fairway and into the rough left of the green of this one hundred and seventy five foot hole. The President was being facetious as he grinned and gave Bloomberg a wink of an eye. It was now the President’s turn to send it long and straight. He set his ball on the white tee. Bloomberg watched as the lanky athletic looking President swung his driver with perfect form. The ball lifted up into the air and headed right for the green. Just before it starting to descend, the ball was hit with a hawkish wind that had rushed in from Vineyard Sound and drove this perfect shot down and to the left of the green alongside the Mayor’s ball, in the rough.

They were now both in the rough and to the left of the green. The Sea Oats Grass that made up the rough around this hole was so tall neither the Mayor nor the President could find their balls. They both walked around looking and looking, but no balls could be found. They were both feet away from their goal, but so far to the left their balls were now lost in the tall grasses of the rough, forever.

As they both dropped new balls and took a stroke for their folly the two politicians looked at each other with frustration and wondered if they could come back from screwing up their political careers with one declaration of support of a mosque that the nation didn’t want, as the 574th day of the Obama Presidency wasted another day on the links while the nation raged.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Obama - F**k You America - 11:11 A.M. Thursday August 26th 2010

It was difficult thinking that this President was a threat to every man, woman and child in America, but it was now becoming more evident to the country that he could care less about their financial and national security plight. Most Americans kept hearing over and over again the President’s very own words claiming, “I will not rest till the nation is whole again.” These very words had been recorded being said by this President over twenty times in speeches to the nation. Yet he continued to live a life of regal splendor and spent most of his time vacationing, playing golf or campaigning. It was becoming harder for the country to give this guy a break because he was the first black President. The God-like image of this man prior to taking office was now crumbling into a heap of political dust as anger replaced admiration and adulation.

It was now reported that one in ten current homeowners would lose their homes in foreclosure. With the millions that had already lost their homes, the country was now on the verge of a national calamity with no hope in sight. For the President to switch gears and do what was necessary to correct an emerging depression, he would have to admit his policies were wrong and take up proven capitalist economic principles from President Ronald Reagan’s cookbook on Trickle-down economics. Of course, everyone in the country knew it would be over their dead bodies the day he would take up even one of Reagan’s principles. Ideologue was the new word that all Americans were about to learn thoroughly through example, as the President continued to mould the country into what he thought it should be. Old proven solutions for problems were not in the cards for this mental midget. The length of this President's logic thread only reached as far as a political gain and to hell with the American people, their children, and their well being.

So when the nation heard their President today blurt out to a reporter, “We’re buying shrimp, guys,” instead of answering a legitimate question about one of our wars where young American heroes were losing life and limb, he in essence was saying “Fuck You, America.”

So, as the President finished his shopping and went on to play another round of golf with his friends from Chicago the 573rd day of the Obama Presidency thought its photo shots on the links looked real chipper.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Obama – Mr. President We Have A Problem! – 3:11 P.M. Wednesday August 25th 2010

The President thought to himself what a shitty vacation it’s been. Vacation, vacation that’s all everybody in the country was talking about. Shitty ocean, the water quality is so bad you can’t swim in it. He couldn’t complain because of all the flack he’d get from the environmentalists supporting him. The weather was mostly overcast so far and congestion was everywhere he went. He wished he had gone to Hawaii where the weather was perfect and the ocean was as clear a twenty carat diamond.

As he continued to daydream about Hawaii, the communications room that was carved out of one of the larger rooms in the vacation home was flickering with flat screens and images of his entire economic team and political handlers. He realized he was in the biggest mess of his life and had absolutely no idea how to get out of it. Even his        so-called advisors that he was told for so many years they knew what they were doing, didn’t have a clue, and the continuing decline of the American economy proved it. Most everyone now was wondering if this modern day Nero was fiddling his way towards his destruction and taking the entire country with him.

The voices from within the room and the monitors all converged into one harmonic that he conveniently tuned out as he stared and said nothing. Occasionally he turned his head from side to side indicating that he was still alive to his key people in the room, but he was gone, on another far off island in the middle of the Pacific with his grandmother and grandfather, loving and watching over him. For this brief time he found peace as the destruction he was causing swirled about the room with ever menacing threats. It was now the only thing that kept him sane as the 572nd day of the Obama Presidency drifted off into a restful sleep while his nine stooges looked in amazement at their clown in chief snoring like a drunken sailor on a Saturday night.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Obama – Who Messed With My Prayer Rug? – 3:43 P.M. Tuesday August 24th 2010

With nearly ten percent unemployment being the new norm and GDP numbers constantly being revised closer to zero the President’s economic team of fools and clowns were now on the chopping block as the Republican minority shouted from the balcony of congress for the resignation of everyone. With twenty months under the President’s belt, things were getting worse as numbers on existing home sales echoed the calls of the Republicans.
All of this was going on back in Washington while the President killed time on Martha’s Vineyard playing golf and Scrabble with the kids. The image was not good while hundreds of millions of Americans watched and read of his regal vacations and the millions squandered supporting his new eccentric lifestyle. There was a problem, no, there were many problems, and the President could have cared less as his polls now headed into the thirties. It seemed like the endorsement of the Ground Zero Mosque over a week ago lit a national fire that wouldn’t go out. Up until now Americans were riding out every roadblock the Administration threw at them until this. This was the defining moment of the President's Presidency. It could also be said that it was also the defining moment in American political history where America in one fell swoop condemned a President and his party to political death. In many countries around the world the masses wouldn’t wait for Election Day, they’d just hang-em on the spot. But the American people had the patience and the knowledge that judgment day would come soon enough for these unorthodox leaders who have made them more vulnerable to their enemies than any administration in recent history.
Dave was now back in his side office in D.C. watching the President’s prayer rug, knowing that it wouldn’t be going anywhere for the next week while the President holidayed on the Vineyard. George’s idea was brilliant and he wondered why the Agency didn’t use it for other operations around the world. Operation: Alice in Wonderland was the keystone of Middle Eastern policy and defense of the Saudi oil fields; any leak of techniques and operation procedures could alert the enemy and would make their job more difficult. Containment of Iran was the goal, not a land war that could cost the lives of thousands of young patriotic American men and women.
Dave and Jimmy had each other’s cell phone numbers just in case the President did something out of the ordinary. Dave knew the President wouldn’t go anywhere without his rug, which was weird in itself. It was like he was a vampire who didn’t go anywhere without his casket. As vampires do, they sleep during the day in their caskets on the soil of their Transylvanian homeland. The whole thing made Dave’s skin crawl as the 571st day of the Obama Presidency wondered who messed with my prayer rug?

Monday, August 23, 2010

Obama - Inching Towards Judgment Day - 10:00 A.M. Monday August 23rd 2010

Dave spent the balance of Saturday and all of Sunday snooping around the President’s vacation home. Jimmy tagged along wondering why Dave’s inspection was so thorough, but he was helpful and assisted Dave while he peeked into every nook and cranny of the beach house. It was obvious to Dave that the Muslim prayer rug was somewhere in the house but where? Dave made sure that he visited the home when the first family was away visiting friends, playing golf or attending functions on the island. It was now Monday morning and he wanted to make one more pass just to make sure. He had to get a visual on this rug before he could proceed. This whole thing could end up being a big fat bust if no rug was found. He knew it would put a crimp in this new method of tracking terrorists if we were just running around the world tracking ghosts instead of the bad guys. His laptop computer, which he kept in his rental car, said the rug was in or around the house. The GPS technology used for this experimental operation when George set it up in the desert of East Africa was a bit antiquated. The closest Dave could get a bead on the rug was within a radius of twenty-five feet, anyway that was good enough for George’s operation. Twenty-five feet was close enough for any bombing raid, but for Dave, that was a lot of territory to cover when you’re talking about a five thousand square foot house with eyes and cameras everywhere.
It was now 10:30 A.M. and the President was out playing golf again with a few friends. Dave was about to give up and rested on the sofa just opposite the fireplace where a beautiful picture of Cape Cod hung. Jimmy was outside in the driveway checking the SUV’s to make sure they had enough gas and that their defense mechanisms worked properly. There was a full time detail of twelve guards around the house and thirty men and woman stationed around the twenty-eight acres that made up the estate. You couldn’t go anywhere without bumping into a short cropped haircut wearing a buttoned down Ralph Lauren oxford shirt and khaki pants. It now seemed that the national logo had changed from the eagle to the polo player. You could say, these guys had class, Dave thought as he looked around the living room with his body stationary on the sofa. He moved his head from right to left and then back again. He looked randomly not focusing but just trying to feel the building he was in. Where the fuck is that damn rug, he wondered, where? Six foot six Jimmy Jackson, walked into the living room with the aged hardwood flooring crackling under his feet. His two hundred and twenty pound frame stood in front of Dave like the robot from the movie The Day the Earth Stood Still. “Are you looking for this Dave?” Jimmy uttered in his typical monotone voice. As he unraveled the GPS loaded prayer rug that George Preston, his now-dead friend, had planted in a dirty little village in a far off hostile land as the 570th day of the Obama Presidency inched its way closer towards judgment day.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Obama - Not Another War - 2:10 P.M. Sunday August 22nd 2010

While the President was having a beach picnic with his family, Rahm, Ben Bernanke the head of the Federal Reserve, little Timmy Geithner the Treasury Secretary, and the head of the F.B.I. Robert Mueller III were huddled in the swanky Wall Street office of Lloyd Blankfein, the CEO of Goldman Sachs & Company. His very impressive office on the forty-third floor gave the correct impression that he was a very powerful man along with his company's influence, around the world. This was not a gathering of the usual suspects trying to arrange a golf outing at the local country club or a yacht trip to Bermuda. This was a meeting of the unusual suspects that gathered to defend the country from a new form of terrorism.
Ever since Barack Obama took office in January of 2009 things had been happening to the country that had no clear answers as to why. The sinking of the Deepwater Horizon was one, but many on Wall Street were still scratching their heads about what happened on May 6th of this year to the stock market with its nearly one thousand point drop. Many had speculated that it was just a glitch, but others who looked more closely saw things that were very disturbing. The FBI was called in by the head of the Federal Reserve Ben Bernanke to investigate this strange occurrence. Ben knew why the market recovered but he didn’t know why the fall occurred so violently. After nearly three months of a secretive investigation which the public and press were unaware of, they came to some pretty disturbing findings.
It appeared that banks of shadow computer trading platforms, mostly originating in eastern European countries, were overloading the system with buy and sell orders. The reason was unclear but it was a fact, and now these five men were here to find out who was doing the dirty work.
The integrity of the free world’s investment backbone was essential in maintaining the capitalist free-market system. Any attack on it was now considered to be an act of terrorism and would be construed as a declaration of war in certain cases. So, whoever it was that set the wheels in motion to drag down an already anemic market would have hell to pay if caught.
Bernanke had already been propping up the equity markets with funds from the Federal Reserve. The low volume told the whole story. He knew with his computers he could maintain stability in the daily averages by backstopping normal sell orders. Stock drops two points, Ben’s computers would be there to bring it back, that simple. With low volume it was a piece of cake. But on May 6th the whole thing got away from his people and the market began to crumble despite his help. This is what troubled him, they couldn’t stop the fall. What would happen if they couldn’t stop the fall next time they were attacked? That was the question and an answer they had to find or the whole financial world that made up the world’s wealthiest nations could be financially destroyed.
Mueller of the F.B.I. distributed the report his men worked up. As they all began to read, the cover page spoke volumes of the problem they were facing. "Soros – Iran Operations," read the title. All at the table knew of the impact and the close relationship the President of the United States had with George Soros, who now was his top financial advisor. As they read on they learned that the shadow computer banks, according to Interpol and the F.B.I., had connections to Soros a known major contributor to the President's campaign.
So, as the President finished his crepe suzette on the beach in Martha’s Vineyard the boys back on 200 West Street in Manhattan were connecting the dots as the 569th day of the Obama Presidency dribbled some cherry juice down the corner of his mouth.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Obama – Prayer-Rug-Less on the Vineyard - 8:00 P.M. Friday - Saturday August 20th – 21st 2010

Dave jumped on the 8:00 P.M. Woods Hole – Oak Bluffs Ferry that took him across a still Vineyard Sound. It was nice being out on the water with the smell of sea air and marshland. It reminded him of his youth, spending summers in Ocean City, Maryland. About halfway to Martha’s he gazed west as the sun was now starting to set over the sound. In that solitary moment he was distracted by all the noise on the ferry coming from the normal Friday night weekend crowd. The boat was overcrowded due to the President's presence on the island. Most were your typical tourists looking for a photo op or glimpse of the first family. He also saw a bunch of college kids coming over for some pub crawling. It would have been nice to have joined them, he thought, but he had much more important things on his mind as the boat neared the mooring.
He could have landed at Martha’s Vineyard Airport on the island but chose to rent a car and ease into his investigation. Three-ton black SUV’s would have brought too much attention for what he needed to do. Normally the Central Intelligence Agency was authorized to investigate foreign activities only, but since 9/11 everything changed and all these grey areas opened up which gave them more leeway to investigate and gather information in the U.S.
As the ferry docked at Lake Avenue he proceeded to his prearranged hotel room downtown. No view, no nothing, that was his hotel room. Spartan was more like it, but that was Dave.
After a restful sleep he awoke to the island sounds of boat horns and seagulls. Nice, he thought, real nice. It was already arranged for him to slide into the guard unit that maintained the security of the President’s rented home. Acting as an inspector, inspecting Secret Service efficiencies while on the job, he had full access to the home.
Dave was greeted by Jimmy when he arrived at the home. The First Family was out running around the island sightseeing and posing for photo ops. Jimmy shook Dave’s hand and eyeballed him like he was a terrorist. No smiles, no nothing from Jimmy, just the stare. Jimmy’s stare reminded him of someone that was now gone, someone that helped bring him to Martha’s Vineyard this mid-August day. Dave knew this look and trusted it knowing that when the chips were down a guy like Jimmy could be counted on.
As Dave laid out his made-up plans to inspect the home Jimmy showed him around with an occasional grunt and groan, half audible to a normal human.
After about forty minutes Dave was on his own, and now headed for the bedrooms. He needed to find George's GPS-guided prayer rug, but where could it be as he nearly ripped the Presidential mattress off its platform. He looked in the attic, he looked everywhere, but no prayer rug. Finally, he moved down to the utility room and garage area when he noticed the President's golf clubs. What if, he thought, as he gazed at two covered golf bags? Dave quickly moved over to the bags. As he grabbed the cover of one bag, Jimmy entered the garage area. With a suspicious look Jimmy said to Dave, ”Yeah I know, I was wondering about those two?” “Why,” Dave said? “Well, he always travels with two sets of clubs, but I only see him use one.” “Well, let’s see what we've got ,Jimmy.” As Dave grabbed the top of the first bag he pulled it off to reveal a full set of DCI clubs made by Titleist. “OK” Dave said. Now let’s see what the President’s shadow plays with,” as he pulled the top off the second bag. What Dave and Jimmy saw was somewhat confusing. Expecting to find more golf clubs, all they found was a hollow golf bag with all of the dividers missing. The Presidents second golf bag was altered and empty as the 568th day of the Obama Presidency was rug-less on Martha's Vineyard.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Obama - If He Only Knew - 4:12 P.M. Friday August 20th 2010

Dave Simon had a private secured mini-office contiguous to his digs where he tracked the planted prayer rugs that George had set up in eastern Africa last year. Being with the C.I.A. Dave had a lot of latitude when investigating matters as delicate at this. There were no windows, but plenty of monitors on the walls with GPS maps flashing. To try and watch them all at once would have been impossible, but Dave was only interested in tracking one prayer rug right now, the one that left the White House and was now on Martha’s Vineyard.
Jimmy Jackson was part of the Secret Service team that secured the President’s vacation mansion on the island and much of the family’s luggage and belongings came in advance of their arrival. Jimmy was new at this after spending ten years with the Marines and jumping thru hoops while becoming part of the most elite groups in government, the men and women that guard the President.
The first family had just arrived and was settling right in to vacation life when he noticed in the four-bay garage two covered sets of golf clubs. Now, he knew that the first lady didn’t play golf, so why, he thought would the President bring two sets of clubs? Not being a golfer himself, and real busy at the time, he blew it off but filed it away in a mental folder he called, “must find out why.” Jackson was a bit robotic in his mannerism, cold, calculating and somewhat north of Joe Friday when dealing with other humans. In the past he'd had some special assignments that from time to time required him to terminate subjects. His personality traits or flaws, whichever side of the fence you were looking from allowed him to handle such missions without flinching. Standing between a bullet and the President was no problem for Jimmy. Death was something he accepted. He knew all people would have to deal with death, eventually. He just happened to have dealt with it at the early age of thirty-two.
Dave ended his phone call with Defense Secretary Gates and ordered a chopper on the pad for a direct flight to a little known air field on the southern tip of the Massachusetts coastline just across from Martha’s Vineyard. It was now near dusk as he grabbed his ready-bag of essential items for several days anywhere in the world as the 567th day of the Obama Presidency had a real American on its trail.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Obama – White Folk Vacation - Noon Thursday August 19th 2010

The President was in his office early for his briefing with Rahm before he and the family jetted off to Martha’s Vineyard for another lengthy vacation. This time they all would be together and he was looking forward to enjoying his kids.
Rahm came through the door of the Oval Office like it was his. He moved around like a tiger stalking prey. First he looked around the curtains and then out the Oval Office windows. He looked up, he looked down. Not finding what he was looking for, he sat himself down in front of the President with deliberate authority. “Now, what the hell was that all about, Rahm,” the President said. “Nothing, just checking,” he said. “You know, you haven’t been quite right since that Stripper thing.” “Yeah, well that kind of thing doesn’t happen to you every day,” Rahm exclaimed. “Yes, so true, poor son-of-a-bitch, and glad I wasn’t there to see it.”
“Well, you know everybody in the country is now calling you Imamobama and they think you’re a Muslim. You know that, right?” Rahm blurted out. “Yeah, I heard from Valarie that Limbaugh is now calling me that on his radio show, God damn, I wish we could shut him up.” “As I told you, Imam,” Rahm in his smart-ass way said to the President, “Limbaugh has powerful friends in high places that even you would have a problem with. “Remember…., the joint chiefs and the Supremes and I don’t mean the ones from Detroit” Rahm emphasized. “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” the President mumbled.
The reason for his meeting with Rahm was to tapdance around the Deepwater Horizon sinking, using code words and facial gestures, since everything in his office was taped and recorded for historical purposes.
Things started to heat up today because of BP’s refusal to release critical information on the cause of the sinking. He knew BP was holding back the video tapes that showed the Soros-Chavez-Iranian underwater attack on the rig. They were holding it as their ace-in-the-hole to negotiate any court or U.S. arm-twisting for more money for damages. As far as BP was concerned the sinking was a terrorist attack and they could prove it, therefore relieving them of any liability. Of course, the President knew of the attack but was never going to reveal that he knew. Even Rahm didn’t know of his arrangement with his handlers so he had to always look surprised when Rahm fed him any information he got from the Stripper-Lap Dance connection.
They finished their two hour meeting with the understanding that everything was to be kept quiet and that there was to be no pressure put on BP in any way. God, that’s all he needed, he thought, was a conspiracy proven true and he was involved, or rather his handlers were and he was an accessory.
It was now noon and he was off to catch his taxi, AF-1, with the family for a well deserved vacation while the rest of the country ate cake as the 566th day of the Obama Presidency looked forward to vacationing with all the white folk.

Obama - Nancy, What Are We Going To Do With You? 8:00 A.M. Wednesday August 18th 2010

The Oval Office was empty since the President was doing his whirlwind trip around the country to collect as much campaign contributions as possible before his star power was completely lost. Valerie Jarrett, the President’s senior advisor and assistant, crept into his office as quiet as a churchmouse and snuggled into his chair while propping her pigmy size-five shoes on top of the antique desk made popular in the movie National Treasure. From the front you could barely see the top of her head between the split of her red high heels as she dreamed of being the leader of the free world and how unfair it was that because of her height disorder she was always overlooked for leadership roles.
It was almost 8:00 A.M. and the ticking of a John Harrison grandfather clock in the corner dominated any sound that might have attempted to overshadow her usual thought pattern of envy. She gazed up at the ceiling of the Oval Office while the office door slammed from a housekeeper who came in to do some dusting. The beautiful ruby red shoes she was wearing slipped off her tiny feet while her ass slipped off the edge of the Presidents chair hitting the floor with a thud. "Ouch, ouch, ouch," she screamed as the housekeeper ran over to her and in broken English offered to help her up. But, Valerie refused as she jumped up, grabbed her shoes and headed out the door rubbing her somewhat perfect ass.
At about the same time the President wasn’t halfway through his meeting with a family in Columbus, Ohio when he was interrupted by Rahm about Nancy Pelosi’s statement out in San Francisco. Oh boy, he thought, that was a good one. Thinking that’ll get the tea baggers all hopped up for sure. But he forgot about the families of the three thousand that died on 9/11 who were against the Ground Zero Mosque. Nancy’s comment to investigate the opposition to the mosque flew directly into the face of all Americans and to even slightly suggest investigating these families was completely insane. Most Americans recognized the source of this lunacy and became even more outraged over this woman’s position in our government. They all knew something needed to be done with her, and whatever it was it needed to be on a permanent basis. She was now considered the craziest person in the country and needed to be stopped.
It was now ten o’clock and the President was finally at the White house after spending some time in Miami at the swanky Fontainebleau Hotel separating old Jewish people from their money as the 565th day of the Obama Presidency wondered how the red marks got on his desk.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Obama – Hollywood and The Leader of the Free World - 8:45 A.M. Tuesday August 17th 2010

Wow, the President thought, what a night. The hangover was massive and the other aftereffects were just as intense. He was not feeling particularly well and he knew he had a full schedule ahead of him.
Air Force One pushed him into his seat as it pointed for Seattle. After some lackluster razzle-dazzle there, he moved on to Columbus, Ohio. It was now 10-ish and he was beat, completely and totally beat. He now had his Obama-peepers on. The beady eyes with a darker than dark underlying, that America was seeing more of these days. The more he fought the American people on every issue the more those issues etched their marks on his mug. The spring in his step was now gone as he rushed for the day to end.
Back in Washington the First Lady was hopping mad and was now on her third phone call to him. “Sir it’s the First Lady, did you want that,” his key man asked? “Can you please tell her I’m in a meeting and I’ll call her tomorrow?” He thought, hell, she must have heard about last night. Damn, you can’t trust anybody these days. Hollywood’s got me down as a has-been, a lame-duck President and now their leaking my late night trysts. Even Babs, Barbra Streisand, didn’t show up, and that in itself sent shock waves all throughout tinseltown.
After getting the message that he wouldn’t talk to her, the secured phone she was using in the blue room was pulled out at the baseboard and hurled across the room. Her throw had much better form than her husband’s fagish unmanly style and the accuracy was right-on as it completely destroyed the Queen Ann mirror above the Massachusetts mahogany tea table that was made in 1766 by a pretty important cabinetmaker. Being from Chicago she could have cared less about any of this important furniture. All she wanted to do was ring Barry’s black neck, stuff him into a garbage can and send him out with the morning trash as the 564th day of the Obama Presidency wanted to go somewhere as long as it wasn’t home.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Obama – Divide and Conquer – 3:11 P.M. Monday August 16th 2010

The President after planting the Islamic bigotry seed on Friday night, was now, Monday, leaving town to let his stooges in the left-wing media fertilize and water the planting. Working along with the darker side of his official and unofficial advisory teams, the plan has all along been to divide, divide and divide. By using the Ground Zero Mosque issue he was now attempting to divide the American people against all Muslims. In his eyes all was working like clockwork. The President knew from his divide and conquer textbooks that he studied in Columbia, little by little he would wear the American people down with claims of bigotry and racism. This micro manipulating of the American psyche seemed to be a pet hobby for this President and he was now tweaking the vast American public, namely white pro-capitalist Christians on a daily basis and loving every bit of it. He knew, as he was flying over the heartland of America on his way to Los Angeles that by isolating the White Christian population, all other races and religions would stereotype them as bigots and racists. By dividing every race and color and amplifying their differences so that they stopped cooperating with each other, the last man standing would be the federal government and he was the federal government. He would then be able to manipulate the masses with ease into doing whatever he wanted. All of this theory was now in his Presidential arsenal of tricks, theory that was learned from revolutionary textbooks, and close associates in Chicago, and college activists. But he did know that the one ingredient needed for a successful revolution was a catastrophe, and that he was still working on.
This was the part that most Americans didn’t understand about the President they elected. He wasn’t out to help the American people like all presidents from the past. This President was out to experiment and test the fundamentals and basic fabric of America’s way of life. If it was breakable, he was going to break it!
As he landed in L.A. to a lukewarm reception he kept thinking about his problems with the first lady and what it would take to keep her happy. He knew she was having trouble adapting to public life, and always being “on” was not her style as the 563rd day of the Obama Presidency was looking forward to meeting some of Hollywood’s kinky super elite.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Obama - Gates - Is There a Problem? 8:33 P.M. Sunday August 15th 2010

The President scratched the four mosquito bites he acquired at 3:23 A.M. while in Florida this morning and was glad his balls were finally starting to clear up. He now was fairly annoyed at everything as he finished reading a notice of resignation letter from his Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates the lone holdover from the Bush years. It appeared Gates was not happy with his orders to slash defense spending. His notice to stay on board till the end of 2011 left him enough time to create gridlock for the President’s defense cuts. This would give General Petraeus the time he needed to secure Afghanistan. It also meant that after the November elections Washington would have had a complete cleansing of the leftists in congress. He knew that with a House and hopefully a Senate- controlled Republican-Tea Party collision, there would be many investigations into the first two years of the Obama Administration which would leave the President fighting daily for his political life.
Gates knew if the current attitude of the American people continued and was reflective of the newly elected congressmen, there will be many indictments and special prosecutors assigned to clean up the mess this President had created. The resumes alone of most appointed czars would be grounds for prosecution, so many of them were already looking for exit signs knowing that a November massacre was nearing. They had hoped their stay could have been longer but since the American people were about to throw anybody out that was connected to this President it left less time to do the damage that was needed.
So, as the President crumpled up Gates’s letter he pulled his left arm back for a shot at a trashcan in the corner of the Oval Office and he released Gates’s letter with perfect form. A split second later it slammed into the side of the can with a dejected thud. Shit, he thought to himself, how could I have missed that?
Out on the highways and byways of America the people had almost two days now to digest the President's comments of approval of a Ground Zero Mosque, and they were pissed. David was right, he thought. I really fucked up this time, while he shuffled dejectedly across the room to pick up his missed shot. Needing instant gratification the leader of the free world tightly grabbed the wad of paper and leaped almost four feet into the air next to the can as he slammed the paper ball into the can while hitting the floor wrong with both feet and toppling over like the Towers of the World Trade Center as the 562nd day of the Obama Presidency crawled towards his desk screaming for help.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

10:58 A.M. Saturday August 14th 2010 - Obama - Goes For a Swim

The President, for what seemed like the hundredth time, peered out of the porthole window of Air Force One at the flat boring Gulf coast. All he could think was, “every time I try to get out, they keep pullin' me back in.” His thoughts of mosquitoes buzzing in his ears at all hours of the night and fish sandwiches filled with toxic waste just made his day. This was all Michelle’s fault, he thought. God damn her, why couldn’t she have just gone to Chicago, no she had to go halfway around the world with half of Chicago in tow, pissing off just about everybody in the country. Now, Axelrod had us down here trying to make up for her major faux paux.
His presidential balls were now starting to itch as the plane taxied to the waiting dignitaries. The poor guys were jammed into an undersized Speedo bathing suit that was acting as the President’s underwear. Since the suit material didn’t breathe very well he was now developing a wicked rash all through his groin area. He did it to save time in getting ready for the beach, but he figured wrong, which was indicative of most of his decisions these days. His family was seated on the other side of the plane, thank God, as he reached down hoping no one saw him pulling at his pants like a madman.
The trip to the beach for “the swim” photo-op took about an hour while all the time his need to itch grew worse. The convoy of SUV’s and the official Presidential limousine parked and the first family headed for the beach for the big shot of him in the oil polluted waters of the Gulf of Mexico. He was in Florida for this picture taking because everybody in Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama hated him for shutting down the oil rigs that provided almost a hundred thousand jobs and they were really pissed at him.
As the first family ran onto the white sugar sand beach in the panhandle of Florida all he could think of was getting into the water to scratch the leader of the free world’s balls as the 561st day of the Obama Presidency was up to his neck in clear Gulf water oohing and ahhing.

7:45 P.M. Friday August 13th 2010 - Obama - Allahu Akbar - Allahu Akbar

Nearly half of the guests in the White House dining room this evening, where the President celebrated the beginning of Ramadan, the holy period for Muslims, were either on the no-fly list or associated with many on the list. Many of the Secret Service on duty at the event felt that terrorist feeling creeping through the room as the once sanitary White House now seemed soiled. The President used this evening’s event to announce to the world his support of the Ground Zero Mosque. Not seconds after his utterance of this support, the world knew. He had been advised by the known socialist David Axelrod, his lead advisor, not to make any comments relating to the mosque, but the President’s deep seated feelings towards Islam forced him to make his declaration. His heart was filled with Islam tonight, now that he had come out on the side of the Muslim world’s effort to plant its victory flag over the scene of the murders of nearly three thousand souls at the bottom of Manhattan.
The President thought his feelings must be like a homosexual declaring to the world that he was gay, he knew the feeling. He finally felt liberated and unshackled by his declaration. He knew that there was so much out in the public domain about his suspected Muslim belief it would be no surprise to the world or Americans that he was indeed a card carrying Muslim.
He glanced around the room at all of the friends and supporters who helped put him into the White House. He couldn’t help but think of Michelle, the first lady, and how she slipped up by mentioning “for the first time in my adult lifetime I’m really proud of my country.” It was how he now felt being with his people and praying together.
Axelrod, being a political genius from the Left, knew it was a mistake the President would pay for in his polls. After all it was Friday the thirteenth, he couldn’t have picked a better day to destroy his political career, he thought. David realized now that this President wanted to leave a festering scar on America a mile wide. The President now knew he would only serve one term and had condemned his supporters and congress to the same fate. They would all go down together scratching and crawling like rats on a sinking ship. Axelrod now looked at his President in a different light. It was as though he was a suicide bomber with twenty pounds of C-4 strapped to his body and he was headed for his seventy-two virgins in the sky as the 560th day of the Obama Presidency kept repeating to himself Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar.

Friday, August 13, 2010

11:00 A.M. Thursday August 12th 2010 - Obama - Another Vacation!

The President’s handlers were now furious with him for not stripping the U.S. Military. After meeting with most of the military yesterday in the Situation Room, he was getting dagger stares from most knowing that the budget axe was about to come down on many of them. The President used the U.S. deficit, the one he caused, as his excuse for slashing many Generals, Admirals and weapons programs. He couldn’t count one high-ranking officer that would side with him on anything. Suspicion of the President was now higher than ever with even rumors of sizable repercussions if the axe came down too hard. White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs’s comment a few days ago made it sound like the President had no intention of crippling the world’s mightiest military. In fact, he did, but at what cost, his life? He knew his handlers and the military could snuff him out politically and literally in a D.C. second if things didn’t go their way. That was the President’s dilemma, coming up with some sort of compromise which left him in the middle battling both.
Janet Napolitano, or "Babbs" as she is known in the gay Castro district of San Francisco, headed up the Department of Homeland Security. Babbs was a little too soft spoken and inexperienced for her powerful job that had access to just about every conversation and communication that went on in the country. She briefed the President on the capture of an Israeli who had been killing mostly blacks randomly for the past month or so. He told her to make a big deal out of it so to cause a backlash against Israeli Jews who are as he stated, “war mongers and separatists on the order of South Africa’s apartheid.”
He was still digesting the resignation announced earlier that morning of the CEO of General Motors, the now government-union owned company that still owed the American taxpayers billions. Ed Whitacre was done with trying to run a company that should have been bankrupt and dissolved two years ago. Now that the political know-nothings ran this shambles of a company with their unproven textbook theories it became too much for him to handle. At his age he didn’t need this kind of shit. With constant questions, congressional inquiries and browbeating by people half his age and experience, he was done with it all.
To most on the street, that’s Wall Street, it sent a clear signal that the President and his crew couldn’t and wouldn’t run the banks, auto makers and the health care industry properly as the stock market crashed almost 5% on the news. Confidence for this President and his ability to lead, run or help the American people couldn’t have been lower as new polls released showed his overall approval rating crashing like the plane that killed old Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska today.
The President knew he had to do something that would help his ratings with the American people. He knew he had to get out there and start rubbing elbows and asses with the common man. After thinking for a second he came up with the brilliant idea that he knew would boost his polls. He decided to go on vacation, again, as the 559th day of the Obama Presidency packed his sunscreen for Martha’s Vineyard.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

10:21 A.M. Wednesday August 11th 2010 - Obama - Clown City

The President’s midmorning meeting in the situation room with just about everybody involved with Iraq, and Rahm his now schizophrenic White House Chief of Staff was more than confusing for this leader of the free world. Video conferencing screens were all over the place as General’s and Admiral’s faces made their presence from the Middle East. While all of this commotion was going on, Vice President Bite-Me was over at the video wall tapping the video screen with the now distorted image of Ambassador Chris Hill in Iraq. He banged it three times with the palm of his hand like a kid trying to get candy out of a vending machine with no success. Chris kept repeating “can you see me now, can you see me now?” as his image was barely recognizable. Bite-Me, realizing what he did, quickly yanked the power cord to the screen as it went blank, hoping no one saw him. With evasive moves that Inspector Clouseau would have been jealous of, Bit-Me quietly slid away from the wall whistling the politically incorrect tune of “Dixie” while tripping over the cord that went to another screen with General Ray Odierno’s image on it that of course went blank, also.
As the Vice President slipped out the side door, the Joint Chiefs used the event, of the last day of combat troops in Iraq, as cover for a strategy meeting for an even bigger operation. The press obviously thought this big ass powwow was about everybody patting each other on the back for a job well done, but it wasn’t.
Operation: Alice in Wonderland was now on the front burner, the containment of Iran, as the rhetoric in the situation room became elevated. The President’s handlers and the top brass were at it again with the military winning hands down. The Operation was now in gear as most of the military was in position.
Hillary was fussing with her hair and thinking she needed to do something with the new bags she was developing under her eyes that she acquired while flying all over the world. Rahm with his head moving everywhere kept looking out the window for sniper barrels and praying that Lap Dance wouldn’t call. Robert Gates, Secretary of Defense in his own silent way watched the Obama circus with a grim face and a feeling of distain for the clowns that now made up this administration as the 558th day of the Obama Presidency wondered why Hill and Odierno didn’t attend the meeting.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

7:00 A.M. Tuesday August 10th 2010 - Obama - What Do We Do With The Fat White Guy?

The President looked up at the ceiling while lying in bed from an unsettled sleep. Michelle, his first lady, was already at the White House gym working off the inches she gained while on her vacation in Spain eating her heart out. Spain was now recognized as the culinary epicenter of gourmet dining, so she took advantage of all the good eats, but at the cost of a now inflated rear-end. The President couldn’t wait for her next vacation which he knew would send the final death nail into his political career. He knew there was a price to pay for living on the wild side and there were always payoffs to keep mouths shut. It brought to mind his trainer from Chicago who now did his magic here in the White House and the $100,000 salary he paid him to do just that.
He had a meeting scheduled with Robert Gibbs, his White House Press Secretary, who looked a lot like that guy in the movie "Deliverance" who got butt-fucked by two rednecks. They needed to patch up the major slipup he made while the media was all ears. The comment he made was so quick and dangerous for the President’s relationship with his supporters on the left, that they were now attacking him. Being attacked by the Left was a fate worse than death and he knew if he didn’t jump on this as soon as possible he was toast.
The fires were popping up all over the place now with his wife’s vacation, the Ground Zero Mosque, the imam who was building the Mosque that now works with Hilary Clinton at the State Department and was now in the Middle East on the taxpayer’s dime raising money for the mosque that America didn’t want. And let’s not forget old Charlie Rangel who just won’t go away so to ease the pain of his corruption and tax evasion charges on democrats running for office. No matter what was happening in America that was negative, President Barack Hussein Obama was directly or indirectly being blamed for it.
He didn’t want to get up, as he kept thinking of himself as George Bush. While only now being in office nineteen months he wondered how low he could go in the polls.
The President and Gibbs sat in the Oval Office and watched the video of Gibbs saying, “I hear these people saying he’s like George Bush. Those people ought to be drug tested,” Gibbs said. “I mean, it’s crazy” - “professional left” - “They will be satisfied when we have Canadian healthcare and we’ve eliminated the Pentagon. That’s not reality” - “They wouldn’t be satisfied if Dennis Kucinich was president.”
“This isn’t good Robert,” the President said. “Yes, you’re right sir.” “You know they want me to fire you, you know that, right?” “I’ll resign if you want sir.” “No, that won’t be necessary but you need to get out there tomorrow and patch this thing up because these people are hopping mad.” “I’ll schedule a news release tomorrow and try and calm the storm,” as he dismissed himself and headed out the door.
The President mulled over in his mind who he would pull in to take Gibbs's spot in case he was forced to replace him. The list was short. The problem with the whole incident was his Pentagon statement indicating that his supporters wanted the U.S. Military eliminated, and that scared the hell out of most Americans, especially independents that were still behind him. At this point after the collapse of just about every sector of America the Military was the only pillar left unscathed and any hint of a dismantling it would send the Military and most Americans running for a rope to hang him from the highest tree.
Gibbs’s also mentioned that the left should be drug tested, which was given a pass by most American’s since they already knew they were druggies who had no morals or respect for American values as the 557th day of the Obama Presidency wondered what constituted morality.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

11:39 A.M. Monday August 9th 2010 - Obama - Texas Persuasion

As the President bounced off Air Force One in Austin, Texas he was greeted by Governor Rick Perry. There were no Democrat candidates nor Democrat elected officials there to greet the Leader of their party, just Rick Perry. As the lanky Black President reached the bottom steps of the gangplank Rick nearly blocked the President's attempt to reach the tarmac. Like a granite wall Governor Perry stood in front of the President, now attempting to get around the Governor that wouldn’t move.
Perry extended his hand to the President who was now avoiding eye contact with the now very determined Governor. President Obama first looked to the left of the Governor while moving to the right as a basketball player would do trying to get to the basket. When finding no success with that move he looked to the right and shuffled to the left while all the time moving closer to the granite wall of Governor Rick Perry.
The symbolism of this encounter screamed out like ten thousand sirens warning of an air attack. Rick Perry was attacking and was going to be heard. As the President finally hit the tarmac with only one place to go, through Perry, he stopped and finally with resolve shook his hand. Perry knew he had him now as his handshake turned into a vice grip holding on like the jaws of a shark. As Perry now drew him in like a floundering fish on the line, he reeled him in close almost cheek to cheek as Governor Rick Perry whispered into the President’s ear “You're mine now.”
Governor Perry then shoved a letter into the President’s other hand and told him to read it, as the President finally pulled away glancing over his shoulder desperately moving away from him as fast as possible.
With the need for more troops and material to close up the Texas and Mexican border Perry delivered the message for all Texans that if you're coming to our country Mr. President you’re going to hear us whether you like it or not.
The President was taken aback by Perry’s aggressiveness while he massaged his hand from the Texas size handshake as the 556 day of the Obama Presidency struggled through the sweltering heat.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

4:32 P.M. Sunday August 8th 2010 - Obama - Why Iran - Why Now - Why Not

Things were starting to heat up now for Captain Shelanski off the southern coast of Iran. He had now teamed up with the USS Winston S. Churchill which allowed them to cover most of the southern coast of Iran. In the last few days several disturbing news items were making the rounds on the net that had the Captain concerned. Iran had announced publicly just this morning that they had put into service four new homegrown submarines with missile capability. The Captain knew of Iran’s piecemeal sub building project but this morning’s announcement was eight to twelve months ahead of schedule which had him guessing and that’s something a Captain shouldn’t be doing. As he pieced all of this new information together he mixed in last week’s attack on the Japanese tanker M. Star near the Strait that put a huge dent into its side. The United Arab Emirates released news that countered the Pentagon's opinion of a rogue wave hit. The UAE in their news release had the name and all details of a suicide bomber that drove his boat into the side of the bloated oil tanker. All of this was false, misleading and meant to soften the impact of an Iranian attack on the free flow of oil out of the Middle East. It was obvious to Captain Shelanski that Iran was playing target practice by using the tanker as a clay pigeon and their aim was dead on. With four new subs in the area now, he knew if he wasn’t on his toes, the next time they started shooting it wouldn’t be target practice and the lives of thousands of his crew would be on the line.
America’s schizophrenic foreign policy was now at each other’s throat as the military knew and understood Iran’s capabilities and threat while the executive branch wandered aimlessly through a vast nothingness of untested theories and worldwide apologies. The President’s efforts to quell the ever increasing Muslim uprising now overtaking the globe was working like a BP cook out on the beach in Louisiana. Everything he did was turning to shit and he knew it. Many of his critics from the right thought his incompetence was contrived and a clever cover-up for a master plan to destroy the country. The confusion was meant and worked while the President continued to complicate by deadlocking anything he didn’t want to happen. Doing nothing was doing something and the people were starting to understand the concept and its consequence, as the 555th day of the Obama Presidency continued to convolute.

4:32 P.M. Sunday August 8th 2010 - Obama - Why Iran - Why Now - Why Not

Things were starting to heat up now for Captain Shelanski off the southern coast of Iran. He had now teamed up with the USS Winston S. Churchill which allowed them to cover most of the southern coast of Iran. In the last few days several disturbing news items were making the rounds on the net that had the Captain concerned. Iran had announced publicly just this morning that they had put into service four new home grown submarines with missile capability. The Captain knew of Iran’s piecemeal sub building project but this morning’s announcement was eight to twelve months ahead of schedule which had him guessing and that’s something a Captain shouldn’t be doing. As he pieced all of this new information together he mixed in last week’s attack on the Japanese tanker M. Star near the Strait that put a huge dent into its side. The United Arab Emirates released news that countered the Pentagons opinion of a rogue wave hit. The UAE in their news release had the name and all details of a suicide bomber that drove his boat into the side of the bloated oil tanker. All of this was false, misleading and meant to soften the impact of an Iranian attack on the free flow of oil out of the Middle East. It was obvious to Captain Shelanski that Iran was playing target practice by using the tanker as a clay pigeon and their aim was dead on. With four new subs in the area now, he knew if he wasn’t on his toes, the next time they started shooting it wouldn’t be target practice and the lives of thousands of his crew would be on the line.
America’s schizophrenic foreign policy was now at each other’s throat as the military knew and understood Iran’s capabilities and threat while the executive branch wandered aimlessly through a vast nothingness of untested theories and worldwide apologies. The President’s efforts to quell the ever increasing Muslim uprising now overtaking the globe was working like a BP cook out on the beach in Louisiana. Everything he did was turning to shit and he knew it. Many of his critics from the right thought his incompetence was contrived and a clever cover-up for a master plan to destroy the country. The confusion was meant and worked while the President continued to complicate by deadlocking anything he didn’t want to happen. Doing nothing was doing something and the people were starting to understand the concept and its consequence, as the 555th day of the Obama Presidency continued to convolute.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

12:33 P.M. Saturday August 7th 2010 – Obama – God’s Embrace

The release of a long lost letter from Iran’s leader of the Green Movement, Mir Hussein Mousavi, to then-leader of Iran, President Ali Khamenei was now spreading across the globe via the Internet. Mousavi’s threats to the sitting Iranian government to release many of the skeletons in Iran’s closet, has ratcheted up the internal struggle to rule the one country that has had the West dancing to their tune for decades.
Dave over at CIA Headquarters had already seen the letter years ago and was well aware of Iran’s game plan of destabilizing the Middle East. He knew the problems we had in Iraq, Afghanistan, Lebanon, Gaza Strip, Eastern Africa, Pakistan, Venezuela and even Mexico were all part of their plan to take control of all Middle Eastern oil producing countries including the jewel Saudi Arabia. This one country Iran, if neutralized through political means would make life a lot easier for everyone in the West. That’s why this letter was so important. Well, let’s say the timing of its release is what sparked the agency’s and Dave’s interest. It had long been understood by the agency that Iran and religious interests throughout the Middle East had funded and supported Al-Quaeda. Without Iran as the keystone, the whole radicalized Muslim movement would fragment into patches of thugs similar to the mafia with only scattered Mulas to keep the hatred going. But that was la la land thinking that Dave lost on a hazy Sunday morning back on October 23rd 1983. That was the morning when we lost almost three hundred U.S. Marines and French soldiers in a double bombing in Lebanon. He was young and new on the job while working with the U.S. Embassy in Beirut when the explosion woke him at 6:20 A.M. like a sledgehammer. He knew it was bad, real bad as he peered out the window of his quarters on the fourth floor of the embassy. He would never forget that pillar of black smoke from the explosion that rose like a dagger penetrating the heavens. It was as though he could see the souls of all two hundred and ninety-nine soldiers lift up into God’s embrace. Minutes later he could hear the popping sound of sniper fire trying to pick off emergency teams attempting to save anyone they could.
From that day forward he knew the enemy was Iran and they had to be stopped. Dave felt that Iran with a nuclear bomb would end the tit for tat games in the region and would cause all countries to fall to Tehran and their influence, his job was to stop them from doing just that. This was an old war for Dave but a new one for most of America. Because of the multiple named agents that worked with Iran, most of America wasn’t interested or paying attention to Iran’s ambitions until 9/11. After that, it became obvious that this radical religious movement had a source and it was festering in downtown Tehran as the 554th day of the Obama Presidency played another round of golf, secretly this time.

Friday, August 6, 2010

1:00 P.M.Friday August 6th 2010 - Obama - Let Them Eat Cake

The President went through his morning meetings at the White House without incident until he met with his Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton at 1:00 P.M. in the Oval Office. It was more of a confrontation than a meeting. The President’s polls were now his Achilles heel and the sharks were circling which included Hillary. Her challenge for his job as the economy continued to decline gave her an edge for a run in 2012. The frustration he felt was hard to hold in as he blasted her and Bill Clinton, the former President. Bill sort of opened up the 2012 Presidential campaign season by dividing the democrat party with his remembrance speech at the funeral of Senator Bird two months ago. He reminded democrats and the world, that their party was the original party of segregation, racism and bigotry of which Bird was a major contributor. The President was a little lightheaded from his late night guest but he had enough steam in him to let her have it with both barrels. She obviously blew it off judging by the expression on her face, which made the President even angrier.
The resignation of Christina Romer, who headed up his economic advisors, still weighed heavy on him as he finished his overheated meeting with Hillary. Romer's resignation had many implications that were going to affect the markets. The President had been trying to keep a lid on a plan of his to forgive mortgage balances for American homeowners, the ones that have been paying but now were under water. The plan is to bypass the markets and order a reduction of balances to twenty percent below market values. The President knew he had to do something to save his liberal congress or his socialist agenda would be stopped dead in its tracks. He figured by freeing up disposable income for Americans it would kick start the economy and get people feeling better about him and his leftist radicals in congress. Unfortunately, Ms. Romer wasn’t buying it and understood the ramifications of such a plan. The President like most rulers in history, think only of staying in power and not the destruction they could and usually do create with such actions.
Rumors were swirling all through Wall Street of this plan and now with the departure of Romer it was a pretty good bet the President would announce the plan in August as his August surprise.
The President indirectly was getting heat from just about everyone in the country over the Ground Zero Mosque. His obsessive and continual promotion of Islam over the past year and half was now leading him into a head-on collision with the American people who wanted no part of Islam or him. What made matters worse was that Michelle Marie Antoinette’s expensive vacation in Spain was now costing the over-taxed, unemployed, homeless, on food stamps and eating cake middle class Americans a half million dollars as the 553rd day of the Obama Presidency hadn’t heard from Marie since she left. Humm?

Thursday, August 5, 2010

3:39 P.M. Thursday August 5th 2010 – Obama – The Payoff

The President lent his political campaign kiss of death in Chicago to Senate Candidate Alexi Giannoulias at the Palmer House Hilton today. Alexi was a Greek crook, a Chicago Greek banking crook that now wanted to take his thievery on the road to Washington with the rest of the thugs from the windy city. His polls weren’t looking too good and the chance that Illinois could go Republican looked pretty damn good, but that didn’t stop him from slipping the President a big fat check for his efforts. After all he owned a bank. All he had to do was write a check. Over the years Alexis’s bank was involved with many friends of Obama deals. So as they say, it takes one to know one and they sure knew each other.
President Obama did everything possible to avoid a scandalous photo op with the big four Ayers, Farrakhan, Wright and Blagojevich. Ironically, they all contacted him and gave him their best wishes. The President had to cut motor mouth Blago off on the phone as he went on and on thanking him for fixing the corruption case he was involved in. The jurors deliberately extended their deliberation as to make it look like they were struggling with a decision of not guilty. Farrakhan, Ayers and Wright were appreciative of the millions granted to their phony 501(c)(3) non-profits that would do absolutely nothing and provide enough pocket change for them for the rest of their lives. It looked like the revolution was now off the table as these pirates planned for their retirement on Caribbean islands, way off shore.
Obama arrived back in Washington at 9:22 P.M. to an empty White House. He had arranged for company later in the evening as he made a few quick phone calls.
Just across town at CIA Headquarters Dave kept analyzing the paths of the now infamous prayer rugs. With the help of the agency’s real-time satellite imagery cameras he was able to pinpoint to within four inches the position of these rugs. He went on Secretary Gates's orders to follow them wherever they went and he now had the full authority of a one star general to open any door he wanted.
Dave wondered why there was a rug in former President Jimmy Carter’s home in Georgia. He monitored another three rugs at the Pentagon, all in the same room, a room that he knew. Two other rugs lay in New York City near Ground Zero. But what troubled him most was the rug tucked away in the Lincoln bedroom of the White House as the 552nd day of the Obama Presidency met his late night guest.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

8:00 P.M. Wednesday August 4th 2010 - Obama Birthday Boy - Just Plain Horny

From her tawny vineyard in northern California, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi ordered everyone back to Washington to vote on a $23 billion handout for state union jobs. At the same time the First Lady was landing in Spain for her vacation away from her husband. Vice President Bite-Me was still finding his way home through the dunes of a southeastern Delaware beach. Back in California again a gay federal judge declared the will of the people in California null and void as he ruled a ban on gay marriage unconstitutional.
The Ground Zero Muslim Victory Mosque controversy was now heating up again since the city of New York gave it a green light. The Jewish Mayor Bloomberg came out after the findings endorsing the city's move to allow the building of this insensitive structure. As he made his proclamation near the Statue of Liberty the eerie sound of a nearby jet could be heard in the background, reminding many in the crowd of the morning when two commercial jets were hijacked by Muslims, flown low over Manhattan and crashed into the World Trade Center. The sound alone cancelled out anything the Mayor was saying as he was simply giving lip-service to the world in fear that any negative comments made about the Muslim world would cause them to pull the cord on a good part of his worldwide news agency, Bloomberg Business News. He also thought if he condemned the decision it would end his very lavish life by being blown into five million pieces by the ever so peaceful Muslim people.
All of this was going on while the President hit the tarmac at O’Hare Airport in Chicago for a night of partying with his old friends on his 49th birthday. He thought if he could have one wish it would be to have a Five Stars Limo Service vehicle pull up and take him where no one else could. He missed those days of near anonymity with a passion because he knew it was his real self and keeping that part hidden was a constant strain. He thought that his only relief since being President was on a late dark Las Vegas night last month, but he knew that even that could soon come back to haunt him and he jumped into the Presidential limo, as the 551st day of the Obama Presidency was ready to walk on the wild side, again.

7:44 A.M. Tuesday August 3rd 2010 - Obama - Bite-Me

Bite-Me, the nickname given affectionately to Vice President Joe Biden, by the U.S. Military, was taking a few days off from his now boring job as second in command of the United States. The President did a good job of smothering him with do-nothing jobs and shoving him into the background while he destroyed the country. So Bite-Me figured he’d head over to his summer home just south of Rehoboth Beach, Delaware where he could get some peace and quiet.
He woke up with the sun shining into his bedroom and the sound of lapping waves of the Atlantic Ocean just 500 feet away. He got up and without a shower or shave headed out to the beach with his three Secret Service men in tow. As he walked south towards Fenwick Island, the last spot of land before you hit Maryland and the massive beach town of Ocean City, he walked between the debris that the high tide had brought in during the night. He knew that most people didn’t even know where Delaware was let alone that they had many beautiful unknown beaches. He gazed up at a group of gulls as they played and squawked while he enjoyed the light breeze coming from the southeast. Joe’s tranquil morning broke with a ringing phone coming from his point man’s pocket. It was Rahm calling from Washington.
Rahm screamed through the phone so loud that Bite-Me’s guards could hear him. “Easy boy,” Bite-Me responded. “Slow down, I can hardly understand what you’re saying Rahm.”
Bite-Me listened as Rahm went on for ten minutes about snipers and heads blowing up with body parts all over the place. Bite-Me sat down in the sand at water’s edge with the light surf just hitting his bare feet. He listened attentively like a father would to a young child with an occasional “now calm down,” “you’ll be fine,” “its ok, now.” The rather one-sided conversation ended abruptly in the middle of one of Rahm’s rants.
Bite-Me with his typical clueless look on his face handed the cell phone back to his body guard mumbling something that the guards couldn’t quite make out. “Sorry sir did you say something?” Vice President Bite-Me turned towards him with trembling lips and a slight bit of dribble coming from the corner of his mouth, “I think Rahm Emanuel is finally getting used to Washington,” as the 550th day of the Obama Presidency shuffled along wondering which way was home.

Monday, August 2, 2010

4:22 P.M. Monday August 2nd 2010 - Obama - Black is Out - White is In

The mere color of this President’s skin has gradually become a negative as he tried desperately to salvage his ratings with the American people. It was his color that gave him the edge in his run for office back in 2008. Unfortunately, the novelty was now wearing off as black has become associated more with socialist-Marxist doctrines, higher taxes, more taxes, government takeovers and a post-America doctrine. The President was now bombarded daily with more fragmentation of his political coalition. With the midterm elections now less than 90 days away, support for his programs were melting away like an icicle in August. Liberal black Democrat Representative, Charlie Rangel from Harlem, New York was now in a battle for his political life as the House Ethics Committee brought thirteen charges against him. With massive new taxes coming and the expiration of the Bush tax cuts the American taxpayer was about to hit a wall of taxes. At the same time this member of the political ruling class was and had been dodging taxes for decades. To add insult to injury the President had another black liberal congresswomen, Representative Maxine Waters, of California being charged for influence wielding that involved the bank her husband helped run.
Taxes, banking and black politicians have now become hot buttons the President would love to run away from, but couldn’t as the pressure mounted daily. He’d have to skin himself to escape the negative stigma now put upon black politicians. Who would it be tomorrow he thought as he watched his four year term as President turn into a condemnation of Blacks in American politics. Big mouth Maxine Waters was especially vulnerable because of the Wall Street and Banking debacle that almost took the world economy down.
The many white Americans who voted for the President were now flatly turned off by voting for any black politician for fear they would get more of the same attitude of "black restitution," "you owe me," agenda. America was now in tough times and it was hard for all Americans these days, and any division of pain by color lines was not going to work this time around. As history had proved in the past, when things get tough like kinds stick together, and if the whites are the majority they’ll vote together for whites, not blacks, and the President knew it.
He returned from Atlanta after giving a firm fake speech about our occupation and leaving of Iraq and Afghanistan to the Veterans Administration as the 549th day of the Obama Presidency looked into the mirror in his bedroom and stared and thought, “what if I?”

5:10 P.M. Sunday August 1st 2010 - Obama's Plan for North America

Felipe de Jesús Calderón Hinojosa, the President of Mexico, finished his in-depth phone conversation with the President of the United States on this late Sunday afternoon. Felipe knew he had an ally with this President and by working together he stood to gain additional territory and influence in the United States. His military, working closely with the lucrative drug lords, has now gained important footholds in southern U.S. border states run by Republican-led state governments. These drug gangs, acting as storm troopers by invading Arizona and Texas, were now creating fear and confusion amongst the general population and this plan was to escalate in coming months. The President knew that New Mexico was already in the bag and was waiting for the other dominoes to fall. The plan for turning the southwest region of the U.S. into a no-man’s land for law abiding citizens was well on it’s way.
Felipe was very pleased with the level of kidnapping that was going on in Arizona since they passed their illegal immigration law. He knew that if the law was allowed to be enforced it would stop his efforts of reclaiming the states of Arizona, New Mexico and southern Texas, which was snatched away so many years ago by the overpowering United States.
He snickered at Americans while watching Arizona demonstrations on TV. They thought this was all about Democrat votes for coming elections when in fact the bottom line was the seizing of land, control of governments and eventual secession from the United States, with a final reunification with the mother country, Mexico.
Felipe realized that President Obama was unraveling centuries of American dominance around the world and one of his first moves was to return to Mexico it’s land.
Unfortunately, few Americans knew of Obama’s game plan for North America. If they had, there would be a full scale uprising around the country which of course the President would use to clamp down on civil liberties and gun ownership.
The President now had several irons in the fire that would really piss the American people off but he held back waiting for that right moment as the 548th day of the Obama Presidency munched on some chips and salsa.