Obama – Vice President Bite-Me - It’s Time To Go - Monday October 11th 2010
Meanwhile, back at the Vice Presidential Mansion, Vice President Bite-Me was taking the afternoon off to figure out how to work his new electronic gadget, his first cell phone. He took out the instructions and started to read. It was quiet in the basement of the nearly two hundred year old home, specially remodeled and available for every VP for the past thirty years. He was now into his second hour trying to get the phone to work and his nerves were frayed. As he recklessly fumbled with the keys he became his typical frustrated self and picked up an ice pick sitting on the workbench in front of him. Sweat was pouring down his red face as he lifted the ice pick above his head for a final deathblow to the perfectly good phone.
It was no wonder that unemployment was so high and with no end in sight since this mental midget was in charge of creating new jobs in the country. As his sweaty hand came down with the ice pick, the phone rang to his surprise. His hand holding the phone jerked as the ice pick came down penetrating his outer index finger and pinning his left hand to the top of the workbench. Bite-Me let out a blood curdling scream that could be heard upstairs where his Secret Service guards were having coffee.
He quickly let go of the pick and pressed the on button to the phone. His left hand was now pinned to the workbench with the phone now lying on the bench. With his right hand he picked it up and heard the muffled voice of the President on the other end calling from Miami saying “Joe, Joe, are you all right?” “Yeah, I’m okay but I’m a bit pinned down at the moment. Can I call you back in a few?”
By this time the three guards had come to his side and quickly pulled the ice pick from his bloody hand as the 619th day of the Obama Presidency thought maybe it was time for Joe to go.