The Oval Office was empty since the President was doing his whirlwind trip around the country to collect as much campaign contributions as possible before his star power was completely lost. Valerie Jarrett, the President’s senior advisor and assistant, crept into his office as quiet as a churchmouse and snuggled into his chair while propping her pigmy size-five shoes on top of the antique desk made popular in the movie National Treasure. From the front you could barely see the top of her head between the split of her red high heels as she dreamed of being the leader of the free world and how unfair it was that because of her height disorder she was always overlooked for leadership roles.
It was almost 8:00 A.M. and the ticking of a John Harrison grandfather clock in the corner dominated any sound that might have attempted to overshadow her usual thought pattern of envy. She gazed up at the ceiling of the Oval Office while the office door slammed from a housekeeper who came in to do some dusting. The beautiful ruby red shoes she was wearing slipped off her tiny feet while her ass slipped off the edge of the Presidents chair hitting the floor with a thud. "Ouch, ouch, ouch," she screamed as the housekeeper ran over to her and in broken English offered to help her up. But, Valerie refused as she jumped up, grabbed her shoes and headed out the door rubbing her somewhat perfect ass.
At about the same time the President wasn’t halfway through his meeting with a family in Columbus, Ohio when he was interrupted by Rahm about Nancy Pelosi’s statement out in San Francisco. Oh boy, he thought, that was a good one. Thinking that’ll get the tea baggers all hopped up for sure. But he forgot about the families of the three thousand that died on 9/11 who were against the Ground Zero Mosque. Nancy’s comment to investigate the opposition to the mosque flew directly into the face of all Americans and to even slightly suggest investigating these families was completely insane. Most Americans recognized the source of this lunacy and became even more outraged over this woman’s position in our government. They all knew something needed to be done with her, and whatever it was it needed to be on a permanent basis. She was now considered the craziest person in the country and needed to be stopped.
It was now ten o’clock and the President was finally at the White house after spending some time in Miami at the swanky Fontainebleau Hotel separating old Jewish people from their money as the 565th day of the Obama Presidency wondered how the red marks got on his desk.