Thursday, September 30, 2010

Obama – The Christian Uprising of 2010 – 3:33 P.M. Wednesday September 29th 2010

The forces of change were gathering like a looming hurricane spinning off the coast of western Africa and heading straight for D.C. with the sobering punch of a category five. This clash of forces was about to become more dangerous as the final pieces of the President’s plan to disrupt the November elections were finalized.


Most political analysts had a special code name for unspeakable politically incorrect factors. They called them alpha factors. An alpha factor is when the eight hundred pound gorilla in the room that everyone knows is there, but can’t talk about, for worry of being called a racist, anti-Semitic or anti-Christian. An example of this would be the fact, per Wikipedia, that fifteen of the one hundred Senators in the U.S. Senate are liberal Jews and those fifteen Senators represent over thirty-five percent of the U.S. population by what states they represent. The vast majority of Americans aren’t aware of this fact but most Muslims are and they’ve been telling Americans for years. They continue to proclaim that America is run by the Jews and in this case liberal Jews. The rub is that Jews only make up one point nine percent of the U.S. population, thus one could say that this one point nine percent controls the affairs of over thirty-five percent of Americans, one in three. But, again no one talks about it for worry of being called anti-Semitic. The fact is that this gorilla or Alpha factor does exist and has now been identified as part of an overall problem that the country is hell-bent on correcting.

The President knew that the majority of Americans are white Christians, seventy-five percent, and they were, up until the birth of the Tea Party, an unorganized Alpha factor that politically hadn’t gotten their act together for over thirty years. Obama knew that the Tea Party was code for the awakening of the American-Christian movement of all colors and creeds. The President and Rahm, who was now halfway out the door, knew they needed to stop the movement anyway they could, thus the sinister plans for the November midterm elections. If his party wasn’t going to lose so badly he’d just instruct his operatives to stuff the ballet boxes, but since this was looking more like a tsunami, he would have to resort to electronic and legal disruptions in all key states. With Eric Holder in place at the Attorney General’s office to orchestrate the most fraudulent actions against election results in American history, all was ready for the beginning of the American outrage a’ la summer of 2009 Iran as the 607th day of the Obama Presidency chuckled to himself.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Obama – Going Down Fast – 11:32 A.M. Tuesday September 28th 2010

As the President’s followers kept dwindling around him he kept campaigning. He looked alone out there on the campaign trail at liberal colleges and union halls with rolled up sleeves and open collar. With the ever present backdrop of red-shirted college students and union members it was more reminiscent of a Hallmark card from Hugo Chavez’s Venezuela. The American people finally saw their President working and working hard, but unfortunately it wasn’t for them, it was for himself, as his political career continued to crash and burn. As he shouted out idealistic terms with a peppering of hope and dreams to the crowds with heads full of mush, he was looking more like a loser than the leader of the free world. His facial expressions were more akin to anger and exhaustion rather than the cool breeze image he depicted during the first two years of his Presidency. He was now reaching into areas of his own life that he condemned most Americans for doing during the campaign for President in 2008. Americans, “Clung to their bibles and guns,” was his remark when describing the Right in rural areas that didn’t have the mental capacity to understand his radical unproven theories, which had now, put the country in a bigger mess than when he started. So he fell on his sword and explained why he was a Christian to the crowd that came to hear him, that frankly didn’t care and viewers on TV across the country that didn’t believe him with his hems and haws that was so telling of a liar. Yes, America was starting to see the implosion of a messiah and it wasn’t going to be pretty.


Rahm was back at the White House directing the moving people as they boxed up his belongings for the ride back home to Chicago. He was glad to be out of this hellhole full of assassins, snipers, lap-dancers and strippers. They only had one thing in mind and that was to blow his head up like a ripe cantaloupe. He was having problems with the idiot that had rented his house back in Chicago. He didn’t want to move out and Rahm wanted back in. He was an idiot because the guy he was fighting, Rahm, would soon be mayor of the windy city and Rahm the asshole that he is could make life miserable for this guy. Rahm thought to himself that he must be a Tea-bagger who wanted to bust his balls by forcing him into a hotel for three months. The wife was pissed and the kids, oh well, might not make it back into their old school this year which made for an unhappy family. Rahm didn’t care. This whole deal was a bad one and the more distance he put between Barry and himself the better. He just hoped and prayed that Israel would let him back in when he visited his relatives the next time.

The President knew that Friday was Rahm’s last day, so for all intentional purposes he was gone, and he reassigned all of Rahm’s functions to Valerie who would now help him with the day to day decision making as the 606th day of the Obama Presidency was really going down fast.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Obama – Drone Attacks – 10:34 A.M. Monday September 27th 2010

Sheikh Fateh al-masria was blown into a million pieces on Saturday while most in the western world slept. He took over as lead dog for al Quaeda in Afghanistan back in May when his predecessor met the same high-tech fate. His remains were scattered over a square mile of Pakistan’s northern border. Once again, Dave’s C.I.A. operatives operating in Pakistan tracked George Preston’s bugged prayer rugs and took out another al Quaeda leader with a drone attack piloted by specialists at Creech Air Force Base in Nevada. The level of sophistication was mind boggling considering the miles and terrain involved. General Petraeus knew by keeping the Taliban and al Quaeda on the move it made for more targets for the now famous drones. This remote style of warfare strategically kept the enemy off balance while ground troops kept them on the move making for more targets.


Dave could have never imagined this type of warfare back in the old days when Operation Alice in Wonderland was enacted by President Reagan. The transition was seamless lending to the development of even bigger drones and much larger payloads with nuclear capability. But that hopefully was for another day and another war.

The prayer rug bugging with GPS sensors was the hottest thing going for the Agency. Much of the success in Iraq and Afghanistan was due to this top-secret idea. Dave thought, it was a shame that the genius that developed this method of tracking terrorists was himself now a victim of the explosive ways of al Quaeda and was now laying peacefully in Arlington.

Later in the afternoon Dave was told that the President of Iran met with Louis Farrakhan, head of the Black Muslims and leaders of the New Black Panther Party in New York City last week during the big U.N. gathering. He had expected a move like this from Ahmadinejad. It was his style to make it appear that he was developing foreign assets while usually only giving an appearance, more bravado than substance. He was assured that the entire conversation was recorded and was being analyzed for code words and directives from the Iranian leader. It was the suspicion of the F.B.I. that if Iran was attacked these two U.S. based radical movements would create a second front in the homeland by terrorizing power plants and gas supplies. Nevertheless it was a minor annoyance to the Agency but they definitely needed to keep track of any further developments. Dave knew that these people needed to be investigated, charged and sent to jail soon or this whole thing could get out of hand as the 605th day of the Obama Presidency weakened the country more.
Obama – Terror Alert – 8:33 A.M. Sunday September 26th 2010

It was Sunday morning and Dave did something he'd said he wouldn’t do seven years ago, he got drunk. He was now sporting a major hangover and had, on his back, a cross of guilt that was far worse. Over the many years on the job, the pressure had driven him to drink and he swore in 2003 he’d stop, and he did, until last night, when he finally found peace in a bottle of Ketle One, olives and all. He never thought that at this point in his career, the country would be so screwed up. He planned on retiring in a few years but the way things were going, he’d never be able, with a clear conscious. He knew as long as the country kept electing people like Barack Obama, he’d never be able to hang up his spurs. You see Dave was the kind of guy that would never leave his job, because he cared too much about his country.


He made it to the phone that was vibrating all over the floor of his one bedroom apartment like a wounded bug. It was his operations people updating him on a development out of Pakistan. It appeared that a group of Islamic terrorists were planning a simultaneous terror party for the western world with bombings in London, France, Germany and the U.S. To Dave this meant only one thing, that the battle for Europe was about to start. He knew that a portion of the Pakistani military was supportive of the Taliban. They were highly trained and were well equipped. Pulling off attacks on civilian targets would be a piece of cake and it was just a matter of time before it happened. The struggle within the military was important to the free world, for whoever controlled the Pakistani nukes could have a winning hand. Dave knew the West had nukes, but didn’t have the guts to use them. He also knew that if Al Quaeda and the Taliban obtained Pakistan’s nukes they would use them. The problem for the west was, how would they retaliate? If nuked, did they have the balls to nuke back, and what city? It was a mess and Dave knew many thousands would eventually die, and again it was just a matter of time. This war with Islam was in the terrorist's favor and that’s what drove Dave last night to crack that bottle as the 604th day of the Obama Presidency planned for a busy week of campaigning for candidates that didn’t want him to.
Obama – Finding Some Peace – 1:33 P.M. Saturday September 25th 2010

Dave tried to take a day off from the madness that was swirling around D.C. originating from the executive branch. He just couldn’t get a grasp on a peaceful sector of his brain. Every time he’d flick on a college football game he was reminded of the “Inside-the-beltway” insanity at half time, with news updates coming from the networks. He knew not to trust the majors for their news since Obama took office. Anyway, “his” information was way ahead of the curve and would never be divulged to the public unless there was a breach in national security. There was so much the public didn’t know. The side deals and contrived arrangements with consultants and members of congress ran rampant, as they continued to bilk the American taxpayer into poverty. Many thought it was about the power, but for the most part the money was the motivating factor that drove this money printing machine. Dave knew that for years most Americans suspected their political system had been corrupted, and now with the intrusive nature of the liberal left’s agenda, it had pushed the American middle class against a wall they weren’t familiar with, socialism. It was pretty obvious that within two months there would be big changes in Washington due to the middle class displeasure and there’d be holy hell to pay by those cardboard dictators that ran the congress.


But that was politics on the Potomac, and Dave had to make sure he didn’t get ground up in its meat grinder. It was Dave’s job to keep the playing field safe for these maniacs to do their mischief. He resented it, he resented them, and he actually over the years started to hate the people that were ruining his country for their own enrichment, while he and his colleagues risked their lives to protect them. He often imagined that what the country needed was a coup d’├ętat to shake up the place. By breaking up the entrenched good old boy and girl machines that controlled most purse strings in government, it just could save the country from itself.

Dave knew how to run a successful military coup since he had directed one less than two years ago in Honduras. Unfortunately, the Obama administration wasn’t happy about the C.I.A.’s approach in Central America and condemned his action which stopped a Chavez style takeover. He knew the Chavez cookbook was being used by several countries in our southern hemisphere and it was up to him to keep the pressure on even against the current administration's objections. Subtlety was the order of the day for the U.S. Military and C.I.A. as the 603rd day of the Obama Presidency was more worried about when their next vacation was.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Obama – At War With the Joint Chiefs - 7:45 P.M. Friday September 24th 2010

It was at the North Doors of the Palm Room at the White House where the President ended his long three-day U.N. business. A lot was whirling in his head, especially the meeting with the President of Kyrgyzstan where the U.S. had its very important supply base that was the lifeblood to our troops in Afghanistan. It was a private meeting that went on for about two hours just before he departed for his return to Washington. If the Joint Chiefs had been flies on the wall they would have dive-bombed the President in formation with a crescendo of missile and rapid fire attack guns, not to mention a few nukes dropped somewhere around his groin area. Since the boys at the Pentagon had stonewalled him for the past two years over, "Don’t ask, don’t tell, and oh yeah," Afghanistan, the President felt it was time for a little payback. The President made a very lucrative deal with the leader of this backward central Asian country he couldn’t refuse. It was probably one of the most diabolical plans any President ever made and now our troops on the ground in a theater of war would be at risk because of it.


With Russia being the overlying power in the region the U.S. was in Kyrgyzstan at Putin’s pleasure. Of course, it came at a cost to the American taxpayer of quite a few million in a numbered Swiss bank account, deposited yearly, to enhance that pleasure. It seemed that our President was setting up civil disorder in this small country that would threaten the functioning of the supply base thus causing supply interruptions with an eventual closure. The President, being the over educated one-day wonder that he was figured in his own egocentric mind that by single-handily shutting down the supply line to the war he would force the Joint Chiefs to vacate Afghanistan, thus satisfying most of his supporters on the left that hadn’t already committed harikari. Some of our best young men and women would die for this political and selfish decision, but it was all in a day’s work for the leader of the free world.

The President quickly left the gathering of press reporters and headed for the private quarters of the White House, where Michelle greeted him with a kiss on the cheek and a pat on the ass. He was glad to be home but as his aids' resignations poured in on a daily basis, home was getting lonelier and lonelier as the 602nd day of the Obama Presidency started talking to himself for lack of a better thing to do.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Obama – The Trilingual President - 12:22 P.M. Thursday September 23rd 2010

Jimmy accompanied the President to New York City while keeping in close contact with Dave back at C.I.A. headquarters. According to Jimmy, the President seemed detached and wasn’t moving with his normal swagger. It was obvious to him that the President was truly affected by something, but what it was he didn’t know. Jimmy was still having trouble digesting his new duties as spy for the C.I.A. on the leader of the free world. Technically, he was violating about a hundred regs, but since the Secretary of Defense authorized his eavesdropping operation on the President he felt just a little bit better about it. One would have to understand that the men and woman who protect the President are trained to take a bullet for him or her and to ignore anything that they heard or saw while on duty. There would be no tell-all books for these troopers at the end of their tours, just silence forever, until now.


Jimmy had himself relieved midday just after the President addressed the United Nations General Assembly. Shortly afterwards the President attended a very private meeting on the twentieth floor. Jimmy went outside onto the main plaza of the United Nations Building and grabbed his phone. What he'd experienced in a small office in the Swiss wing rattled his brain. He felt so dirty and his hands trembled while calling Dave. Dave picked up and proceeded to listen to Jimmy describe how the President entered a room with two leaders of Hamas, two from Hezbollah and the President of Iran. He almost shit his pants as he went on about how the President switched from speaking English to Farsi and Arabic. Jimmy had never heard the President speak any language other than English and for him to switch between these two languages like a native scared the hell out of him. After witnessing that, Jimmy was convinced his spying on the President was important and a matter of national security.

Unfortunately, Jimmy knew neither Farsi nor Arabic so what was discussed was unknown, but Jimmy being the up and coming C.I.A. field agent he was, recorded the entire conversation on his cell phone just inside the hankie pocket of his jacket.

Dave knew that the audio file was too hot to be sent over the Internet from Jimmy’s phone, so he’d have to wait until he returned on Friday night with the President.

The President was now enjoying dinner with other leaders from the Middle East while Jimmy guarded his cell phone like Fort Knox as the 601st day of the Obama Presidency had another scoop of hummus and bread.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Obama – General Petraeus’s Last Supper Party - 11:23 A.M. Wednesday September 22, 2010


President Obama gladly got on Marine One and headed for New York City to speak to an innocuous group before spending the night campaigning and addressing the United Nations Assembly on Thursday. The Woodward book was now front page news and his office was getting hit with a rash of inquiries for comments. He was glad to be out-of-there.


He scrolled through the encrypted emails on his Blackberry and noticed a note from Rahm titled, “For Your Eyes Only.” Before opening it he was distracted by a stream of sunlight through the porthole that nearly blinded him. Things weren’t going well this morning, and actually it was the theme for the whole week. He prayed it would end this week but by all indications this could be his new normal as Marine One entered New Jersey airspace. He looked down at what looked like Trenton, where Governor Christie was now kicking the hell out of his democrat friends and unions. As far as he was concerned he was over hostile territory and expected a missile strike at any moment.

He finally got back to his Blackberry and opened Rahm’s email that had an attachment along with it. Rahm went on to say that he noticed Bob Woodward’s book cover and was very disturbed at what he saw. The President, of course, opened the attachment that contained the cover of Bob’s book titled "Obama’s Wars."

The President immediately called Rahm who was still getting ready from a sleepless night. With bags under his eyes worse than normal Rahm picked up his phone and began to describe to the President what he saw in the cover.

The President listened to Rahm and slowly became angry. “Well, it looks like Bob got the last laugh in and it’s on me,” the President said. He hit his off button and sat back while switching over to the email attachment that contained that now-aggravating book cover. To see General Petraeus, his chief political nemesis who would most likely run against him in 2012, being the central figure on a book cover about his administration was maddening. Rahm was right in saying that the General was depicted as a Christ-like figure presiding over the Obama Administration's last supper as the 600th day of the Obama Presidency took Bob Woodward off his speed dial.
Obama – The Wars on Obama - 8:45 P.M. Tuesday September 21st 2010

It was the eve of the harvest moon as the leader of the free world looked up at a nearly full lunar wonder while puffing on his third cancer stick. He was nervous and was feeling the moon's pull on this mild pre-autumn night. He lingered aimlessly at the official White House smoking tent waiting for the barrage of attacks that he expected from the upcoming Bob Woodward book on his Administration. The release to the media was occurring as he puffed, while reporters and foreign enemies had their best speed readers on the case, skimming, skimming, skimming. He had already read a review of the book by David Axelrod one of his Chicago cronies and lead political “spin-doctors,” a name given him by General Petraeus in the book. The more the American people, and especially the Joint Chiefs saw of Axelrod, the more they knew this guy was no General or an effective politician. He was more of a loser buffoon that had run his course. The President also knew this but he needed David’s input and suggestions on how to respond to the many condemnations. David and the President had already agreed that no response was the best response and to avoid any direct questions that could draw him out.


He knew the book was bad and could cost him another ten points in the polls. That was ten points he couldn't afford to lose. The country had suspected confusion and discourse but now could put their finger on specific incidents and individuals. He knew it would be more red meat for the Right and ammunition to take down the remaining Democrats in congress. As the President said in Woodward’s book, “I can’t lose the entire democrat party,” which it appears he did anyway.

He was lost outside that tent, and was unsuccessfully searching for some direction. He knew the handlers plans were going to fall through if he didn’t get his second term. The way things were going he knew he’d be a lame-duck after December with the new congress led by the Tea Party which up until twenty months ago didn’t even exist. They would starve his programs by not funding them, thus rendering them dead until after a new President was elected in 2012 when they would then repeal all of his work. This was the part of the plan that his puppet-masters couldn’t foresee. To have a majority of the American electorate become so motivated was historic and almost unheard of based on past lethargic behavior by the masses. It looked like it was the end as the 599th day of the Obama Presidency lit up a fourth.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Obama – Stranded – 11:34 A.M. Monday September 20th 2010

The President sat next to John Harwood on a hard wooden stool in the studio of CNBC’s financial television network. Approximately one hundred attended this imitation town hall meeting in front of viewers that totaled nearly a half million. All went well until a liberal black sister stood up and hit him over the head with a two-by-four of ridicule and disappointment. It was as though his mother reached out of her grave and grabbed him by the throat in an attempt to drag him down into her casket. He was jovial up until that moment. As the woman spoke and described her plight with him and her situation of possibly going back to eating hot dogs and beans, everyone could see the blood draining from his face. He was embarrassed, humiliated and simply slammed. He had no comeback that even began to sound like an honorable answer or remedy for this woman of his same race. As he listened to his own words while answering her he felt more and more like Gilligan on his deserted Island with only one other castaway, Vice President Biden.


Harwood being the wimp that he is, prided himself on only one major event in his life and that was meeting J.F.K. Since that day he was hooked on the bullshit the Democrat’s spewed ,no matter how ridiculous they sounded. By the time the woman finished shredding the President’s ego on national TV, both men felt pretty small. John felt particularly bad because he had personally checked out all the people and didn’t expect this type of response. It was supposed to be a softball session with no waves. So, it looked like this would be the last interview John would be doing with this President.

Back at the White House operations office Larry Summers, a major player in the President’s economic plan, sat watching the fiasco slash humiliation of his boss on TV. This should have never happened he thought, but it had, and it marked the end of his job with the President. He knew he had to get out and get out fast or be blamed for this mess. With millions unemployed and millions more to be, it was just a matter of time before the entire economy would implode.

Larry’s liberal big government and spend, spend, spend policies didn’t work and he was fresh out of ideas. This left the President with only one option if he expected to salvage his sinking presidency and country, embrace the Right. Extending the Bush tax cuts was like giving credit to a decision the former President made and that would send his supporters from the left up a tree with a noose for his skinny neck. Cutting spending would mean layoffs and liberal program cuts. Again, it would lead to more turbulence within his dwindling ranks of supporters.

Larry knew that the President being the ideologue that he is would do neither and would go down with his ship as the 598th day of the Obama Presidency was trying to get the wooden stool out of his ass.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Obama – The President Goes To Church – 11:23 A.M. Sunday September 19th 2010

St. John’s Episcopal Church on Lafayette Park was the scene of the President’s third Christian pilgrimage this year. It was obvious to all that he was still trying to shake the Muslim label most of America had attached to him. The President along with his lovely wife Michelle sat in the pew facing the minister and wished they were in Chicago and out of this fishbowl. He daydreamed while listening to the ancient stories from a book he could care less about. Michelle was bored too, as she kept looking at her cell phone with messages from her friends back in the windy city.


The President was having problems with the First Lady after that revealing comment she made to the First Lady of France about what she thought of her job as First Lady. Things hadn’t been very good in the royal bedroom either since Barack was out most nights meeting with God knows who. She was unhappy with the whole gig and it was starting to affect him too.

His church going this sunny Sunday morning wasn’t just to cover up his true religious belief, but to make contact with a messenger from his handlers in the Middle East. Dr. Ziad Asali, M.D., a Muslim, founder and president of the American Task Force on Palestine, just happened to be speaking on the subject of “Prospects of the two-state solution in the Middle East.” It was a mouthful but it was enough for the President to make sure he was there to transfer important information regarding the Peace Talks between Israel and the Palestinians. If only the Israelis knew how they’d been sold out by this President. After sixty years of fervent support of the Israeli state, this President was selling them down the river by sabotaging the talks and condemning Israel for their lack of resolve.

After the sermon the President along with four of his guards went into a back office at the church and in a private part of that office the Dr. was waiting to instruct the President verbally. His guards stayed out of the private area while the two spoke. Jimmy had been making sure that he was close to the President, very close. Luckily for Dave back at the C.I.A., Jimmy just happened to be on this Sunday’s church run and he was now only inches away from the conversation between the man that was instrumental in suing the FBI for not having enough Muslim agents on board, and the President of the United States.

Jimmy knew this smelled and moved in close to listen to what was said. After nearly twenty minutes the President exited the small office within an office and the detail moved on back to the White House. Jimmy’s hands were noticeably shaking, so much so, that one of his buddies asked what was wrong. He ignored the question and accompanied the First Family back to the White House which was a small walk, and then quickly had himself relieved. Jimmy walked onto the green grass at the front of the White House, undid his tie, and tried to digest the disturbing conversation he had just heard as the 597th day of the Obama Presidency unraveled his prayer rug.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Obama – Popcorn and Watermelon - 2:47 P.M. Saturday September 18th 2010
Nicolas Sarkozy, finally after nearly a dozen phone calls by the American President, returned his call. Needless to say, it didn’t go well. There was a lot of name calling and frankly childish behavior by both world leaders. It was more akin to a school yard name calling fight with both ending the conversation with the typical adolescent threat of, “oh yeah”, “oh yeah,” click.


Scratch the French, the President said to himself as he went on watching college football on his third Oval office flat screen TV. Rahm was running around in his typical madman nature trying to wrap up and reassign his workload to underlings who couldn’t solve a simple math problem. Gees, Rahm thought to himself we have no bench, there’s absolutely no one to fill in. He knew Barry, the ideologue that he is and his stubbornness, would lead to his undoing. He just won’t listen to good political advice, he thought. So, Rahm went on delegating while almost smelling the sweetness of a Chicago Italian roast beef sandwich, his favorite, in the air.

Across town, Dave was meeting with Secretary Gates at the Pentagon and updating him on his findings and progress. Jimmy, one of the President’s Secret Service men, was now on board and reporting back to Dave on a daily basis. Gates commented to Dave that this Presidential prayer-rug business needed to be investigated further, and the group of Muslims that worked in the Pentagon that had acquired their rugs from the same as the President was even more troubling. Gates had put bugs on all of them and had found that they were up to something. They were found talking in code and making overseas phone calls to questionable people in Pakistan. The possibility that these Muslims were leaking classified information out to the Taliban was very probable and predictable. Gates had his people on that one but the President had to be handled by Dave, simply because Dave was expendable, as the 596th day of the Obama Presidency ordered more popcorn and watermelon from the White House kitchen.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Obama – Kill‘em Early and Kill‘em Often – 11:39 A.M. Friday September 17th 2010

Kathleen Sebelius, the Secretary of Health and Human Services was now taking on the private health insurance industry, with threats of hit lists of insurers that stepped out of line. Kathleen had a face that said it all, anger. She looked like she was so wound up she’d shatter with built up hostility. Tight lipped and a serious look was always on her face. Yep, if anyone could play Adolph Eichmann of the twenty-first century it would be her. What she was doing was flat out illegal, but the Obama administration was the law so who was going to stop them, the government?


The President ordered her to inform them, the insurance companies, that if they warned their customers that their rates were going up they’d be put on a watch list and would not be included in a future pool of insurers. That would stop them from having access to the new government patients, which would eventually be everybody. This was basically telling them that if they didn’t play ball with the government, that had every intention of putting them out of business anyway, they’d be out of business sooner. If you played ball you’d last about five more years before you had to close your doors. Thus, this was the new way of doing business in Obama’s America. She became the gatekeeper of who would survive and how long in this new game of monopoly where the government held all the cards.

The President was having fun talking to his Secretary of H.H.S. when she mentioned a possible problem that was developing. She explained to him that with the government now controlling health services to the general public there could be a conflict of interest. His face became concerned as she went on about how the government had the power now to kill a patient whenever they wanted by denying them health service, thus reaping taxes from the patient's estate through the death tax, which was due to expire at the end of the year. This was something that the mainstream media and even the Right had overlooked. It was a looming problem that had the potential of stopping the program and making the President look like Adolf Hitler who cooked six million Jews during World War II.

“Kill‘em early and kill‘em often, that’s how we balance the budget.” This would be the new H.H.S. slogan. If you’re worth five million, no heart transplant for you. Kill‘em early and kill‘em often as the 595th day of the Obama Presidency looked around for Jack Kovorkian’s cookbook.
Obama – Michelle’s First Language – 3:15 P.M. Thursday September 16th 2010
While the President was meeting with his economic team in the Oval Office, and discussing the 2011 budget which was boring the hell out of him, Michelle his lovely wife interrupted the meeting with her phone call. “Yes, honey, yes, yes, yes, I did, four times, he’s not returning my phone calls. I know you don’t care, but I have a country to run into the ground and your phone calls are interrupting my progress. You know the President of France, I’m sure, has better things to do than to take my phone calls after we snubbed him for dinner the last time over there. You remember whose fault that was, right? Just because you get a bug up your ass about her beauty, the U.S. could lose a major trading partner.” Pause, pause. “I know you don’t care, you already said that, but I can’t just call up the President of France and call his wife a fucking bitch, it’s just not diplomatic. And furthermore I’ve told you about that Chicago gutter talk, you’re the First Lady, it doesn’t look good. I know, I know it’s your first language, you’ve told me a thousand times. Yeah baby, yeah, you know I love that, no baby, no, I didn’t say to stop that, you know I love that nasty-dirty-sex-talk baby, no baby, oh shit.” As Michelle hung up on the leader of the free world he turned his chair forward facing a room of six top economists with faces of shock and awe.


Moving right along, the President uttered, “Okay, where were we, now?” Christine Romer quickly took the opportunity to send a zinger his way with her comment, “You were going to give us some nasty-dirty-sex-talk, baby.” Knowing that she had already put in her resignation and that she most likely wouldn’t be using this gig on her resume, the comment flew right over the center of the plate as a strike.

The President blew the comment off with a little forced smile and went on with the budget problem that was forcing gold to new highs. With the administration wobbling between extending the cursed Bush tax cuts or not, the 2011 budget had problems, big problems. One thing was for sure, these guys that ran the economy sure didn’t know what they were doing. With massive holes everywhere in the budget and the expiration of the tax cuts coming January first, things looked bleak for the President's agenda. They all knew that with an extension and no government spending cuts, it would send the entire bond and gold market into a panic. Politically, Democrats that still had a career wanted to extend the cuts for at least two more years and this left the President all alone with his ideological struggle with America as the 594th day of the Obama Presidency looked down at his dog for a friend.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Obama - Michelle Obama "It's Hell" - 12:15 A.M. Wednesday September 15th 2010

The President couldn’t sleep so he slipped down to the big white tent on the White House grounds that was set up for him to do his smoking. It appeared that his smoking in the Lincoln Bedroom was damaging the fabric, so they needed to send him and his nasty habit out with the dog. Hum, there's that dog thing again. Moving right along. It was late, after midnight, and he now had another problem. Unemployment going over ten percent would have been a piece of cake, but this, frankly, was going to be ugly. When a leader is finally at the end of his career there’s always a simple line the people associate with a politicians demise. It’s usually short and sweet and not at face value important, but becomes the Omega of a political career. When George Bush Sr. said “Read my lips, no new taxes” and then went ahead and raised everybody’s taxes, it ended his career in one fell swoop. Oh, and let’s not forget old Billy Boy Clinton, the one that defeated Bush Sr. and six years later, who would forever be remembered for saying “I never had sexual relations with that woman (pause – no - very long pause) Monica Lewinsky.


On his way out he glanced at the news releases on his Blackberry when he saw a disturbing headline involving Michelle. It was a release from the First Lady of France on her new book, but the headline wasn’t about the book, it was about what Michelle said about her job as being First Lady of the United States. According to the article, Michelle describing her job as “Hell.” That was all he needed. With his polls sinking and an ensuing political slaughter coming in November, he could just imagine how this would go over with the country. A First Lady who hated her job, what could be worse, as he woke up Rahm and David for a conference call on what to do? He knew the Right would use this on his administration's tombstone as it slowly expired into the pages of American history. Unfortunately, this was history that America would rather have forgotten. But the tombstone would still read “Here Lies the Obama Administration – It Was Hell” as the 593rd day of the Obama Administration took a page from the Clinton Administration. When in doubt, deny, deny, deny.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Obama - Bring Me the Head of Chrisine O'Donnell - 7:00 P.M. Tuesday September 14th 2010

Rahm Emanuel slowly sashayed into the oval office in his typical cocky, arrogant way. Some Secret Service men had been overheard calling it a Napoleonic complex, but others who were on permanent White House staff, called it MIA or a midget inferiority attitude. This attitude was more typical of a fastidious bisexual than a hetero male.

Nevertheless, it was now seven P.M. eastern and all polls in key states had closed. Rahm had his shorts on which made him look more like a little kid than the President’s head political strategist. As he tiptoed between chunks of flat screen TV glass like the ballerina he was, Rahm shouted at the President who was facing opposite him and out towards the White House grounds. “What the fuck happened, Barry? There’s glass all over the floor? Answering his own question Rahm in a low voice said, “Oh no, you didn’t, did you? You broke the second TV? Shit, now we have to find a third one.” After a few moments of silence the back of the President’s head said, “It’s over Rahm, we’re done. That little bitch in Delaware, Christine Donald, MacDonald or whatever, won against our man Castle, now what do we do? She’s the cannery in the coal mine and the bird is dead as a doornail. These God damn Tea Party people are winning everywhere and we can’t do a thing to stop them.”

“That’s Christine O’Donnell Mr. President and it looks like that leverage we had on Mike Castle will be going to waste. Now, we have to start working on her, and from what I hear she’s got plenty of dirt. The problem is, most of her dirt is the same dirt that most Americans are in the middle of themselves and the more we push her problems the more the general public will sympathize with her. So, we’ll have to get creative, but since I’m out-a-here in a few months, David’s going to have to take care of it.” The back of the President’s head mumbled something that sounded like, “you motherfucker.”

But the President knew that Rahm had to go back to Chicago and become Mayor so as to keep a lid on the skeletons that involved the usual suspects who now resided in the White House. Losing control of the Chicago cesspool would most definitely land everyone in jail and that wasn’t cool as the 592nd day of the Obama Presidency’s back of the head kept mumbling things not even I would repeat.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Obama - Arabs Arabs Everywhere - 9:10 A.M. Monday September 13th 2010

It was Monday morning and Dave drove to his office via a shortcut he found that cut out a lot of the gridlock he was experiencing since Obama took office. It seemed this President was good for one thing and that was increasing the population of government employees. It seemed that with every passing day a thousand more cars got between Dave and his office.


He knew that the Saudi arms deal was proceeding on schedule with a public acceptance by Israel, but behind closed doors the Jewish homeland was hopping mad, furious in fact. The sellout of the new century was about to occur and Israel would now have another Arab country to worry about. This is what Jimmy was alluding to yesterday when they met. He told him of the President's meetings with many Arab dignitaries in secret locations and at odd hours. As a Secret Service Agent, Jimmy was required to go anywhere anytime at the drop of a hat, and he sure did with this President. Dave knew of information that was leaking out about the President’s schedule and how loosey-goosey it was. He was coming in late, ending early and some days completely blowing his entire daily schedule. Maybe, Dave thought, it was those late-night encounters that were causing him to sleep in these days. Jetting off on Air Force One with a bunch of Arabs cloaked in thawb’s, in the middle of the night was not quite what the American people wanted to see, so that could explain the secrecy or at least part of it. It seemed to Dave that this President had two schedules, one for the press and one for who knows who. Jimmy’s information was helpful but lacked real intel that he could put his fingers on. He needed names, places and what was discussed. Asking Jimmy to spy on his President would be going over the line but soon Dave would have to pose the question. Jimmy also mentioned in passing during their little meeting on Sunday that his fellow guards were now not too happy with the job or the guy they guarded. It seemed that every day that went by the loyalty and respect towards the one they were to give their lives for was diminishing.

This Arab arms deal was running counter to Operation Alice in Wonderland and Dave wondered how the arming of the Saudis would help contain Iran. He was never informed of this change, so it appeared this president was working around the Joint Chiefs in an attempt to sabotage their master plan for Iran. That was dangerous for a President to do. The last one that did that had an encounter with a few bullets on a sunny day in Dallas as the 591st day of the Obama Presidency slept in.
Obama - It's Jobs Stupid - 1:39 P.M. Sunday September 12th 2010

It was the day after the ninth anniversary of 9/11, it was Sunday and little Timmy Geithner, Treasury Secretary of the United States of America, Fritz for short, was meeting with what seemed like the hundredth time Lloyd Blankfein, CEO of Goldman Sachs. For Blankfein, Sunday was just another day, since he was Jewish. It was one of many things his people had in common with their Muslim  but he’d adversaries never admit it.


Timmy was head of the Internal Revenue Service and was lucky he didn’t do jail time for not reporting over a hundred thousand dollars of income a few years ago. The only thing that saved him was his willingness to represent the Federal Reserve on Obama’s Administration. In other words Timmy was the Federal Reserve’s point man for Ben Bernanke, head of the Reserve. It was like the local juvenile delinquent who got caught and the judge gave him a choice of jail or go to war in the army. Timmy, whether it was guilt or fear, took the worst job in the world during the worst economic downturn in almost a century, Treasury Secretary.

The problem was that Timmy couldn’t run a lemonade stand let alone the U.S. Treasury, and that went for most of the Obama Administration.

He was meeting with Lloyd who now by proxy was running the U.S. economy simply because know nobody else on the Left could. Lloyd knew the administration was way over their heads and headed for economic disaster without his expertise. So, little Timmy-Fritz now had a temporary office to work out of while gleaning all of Lloyd’s wisdom.

Lloyd, being the opportunist extraordinaire that he was, used every instruction to Timmy to make a profitable trade for the firm. On Wall Street, it was business as usual to nudge the government in their direction so to make a buck. Wall Street, of course, would reciprocate by writing a check to a candidate’s campaign fund, thus completing the circle of trust. But, what was happening now was a government so out of step with sound economic principles, they were desperate and Lloyd was now God as he repeated over and over again to Timmy, “it’s all about jobs” as the 590th day of the Obama Administration couldn’t figure out how to create one.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Obama - The Nine Year Anniversary of 9/11 - 6:29 P.M. Saturday September 11th 2010

The Central Intelligence Agency with their Deepwater Horizon investigation knew that this President wasn’t on the up and up. The Joint Chiefs of Staff also knew this President wasn’t who he said he was. The FBI had become so political, even if they knew anything about him, they wouldn’t admit it. Most members from the conservative branch of the Republican Party had already been informed by the Military and the C.I.A. of their suspicions. That left the uninformed American people being blindly led by a media that had their heads up their collective ass.


The President’s handlers knew after the election of their candidate, they got lucky. They knew it was just a matter of time before resistance would form against his policies, but by that time it would be too late. The changes would be permanent and too difficult to reverse. After decades of observing and studying the American people, as they sank into their Godless digital commas, they felt it was time to make their move, thus the introduction of the American Trojan Horse, Barack Hussein Obama.

But with every plan comes the fly in the ointment, the one thing that changes everything, the reason why most plans never get off the ground or those that do, never work. That reason was called the Tea Party. Who would have thought that millions of Americans with almost no intel and no formal organization would rally up against the handlers plans to systematically dismantle the greatest economic and military power the world had ever seen.

Within a matter of weeks after the Presidents suspicious double swearing-in, red flags were popping up all over the Internet. Networks of plain ordinary citizens who just had a gut feeling about their new leader reached out to each other and shared every letter of information they could find on this mystery man that now was President of the United States.

It was now the ninth anniversary of the greatest attack on the American homeland and the American people had fully awoken from their slumber. The line had now been drawn in the sand and America said “no mas” to Islam in the United States. Today thousands rallied at the site of this tragic event and rightfully put the blame smack dab in the lap of the Islamic empire.

Dave was working late and thought of a few questions he had for Jimmy. He called him at his home in Georgetown where he was watching his Alma-mater Ohio State. He was a running back for two years there till he hurt his collarbone. The game was sloppy but Jimmy could see that the Buckeyes had Miami by the balls. They both agreed to meet tomorrow Sunday to discuss some of the details of what Jimmy saw the President do as the 589th day of the Obama Presidency waited for something to go wrong at the Ground Zero rally.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Obama - Bill Clinton Endorses Hillary Clinton for President of the United States - 1:00 P.M. Friday September 10th 2010

Former President Bill Clinton pulled the zipper down on his brand new custom made silk and wool woven grey pants as he continued talking to Hillary on his cell phone. While watching the President’s news conference on TV he uttered, “Look at that,” “he’s beat, they already beat him, he’s ready for the kill, baby.” “No, not you," as he quickly glanced downward.


The dynamic political duo went on discussing how defeated the President looked along with his seemingly defeated answers. It was the eve of the ninth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks on the American homeland and the President was looking more like al Quaeda than a red-blooded American President. The former President was correct in his assessment of the now morally defeated leader of the free world. He had that eighth year George Bush look that came from the relentless attacks from the left. With only less than two years under his belt many wondered if he could survive his entire term.

As Hillary went on about how ineffective the President's foreign policies have been, her husband let out an “Oh baby” as she quickly questioned what he was doing.

“Nothing sweetheart,” as he crashed against the wall that stopped him from falling over. The cell phone that contained the Secretary of State of the United States was almost dropped while Bill wondered where she’d been all of his life, damn!

Hillary for a few moments forgot just who she was talking to and after a moment realized just who was on the other line as she hit the off button and stomped on the lifeless phone for about four minutes as the 588th day of the Obama Presidency pulled his zipper up and headed out for lunch with two long legged blonds.
Obama - Watch Out 9/11 Rally In New York City - 4:39 P.M. Thursday September 9th 2010

Dave was watching the news regarding the Qu’ran burning fiasco on his little TV just behind his desk. He knew the President had gotten his hands into the deal-making with the renegade Christian minister in Florida. He didn’t like the way this President did business at all. It was so in the gutter micro-managing. For a President, a General and the Secretary of Defense to wade into a simple burning of a book probably made our founding fathers roll over in their graves. With the revelation of the President's prayer rug and now his attempts to stop a Qu’ran burning, the evidence was piling up against Barack Obama.


Dave knew the President was directed by others who were not of this land, meaning people who didn’t have the country’s best interest at heart. He had an idea who it was, but proving it was the trick. The prayer rugs, he felt were a good start as he dialed up his European counterpart in London, William Bell.

Billy was instrumental in obtaining the BP Deepwater Horizon videos that he snatched from their vaults two levels below their world headquarters. The job was so clean it took them five days before they knew they were missing. Of course Billy kept this little caper under his hat and not even Dave knew about it. That is, until today, when in his phone conversation he mentioned that he was very concerned with this President and the company he kept. Billy and Dave went way back, back to Lebanon, back to when this conflict seemed to start, well at least in this century.

After almost an hour of Billy describing what was on the videos, Dave could now see the connection between the President’s foreign money supporters and actions against many of our allies and changes to our economic policies.

To think that Iran had already attacked us and we sat back and did nothing was unconscionable to Dave. George Soros was now on Dave’s hit list for some sort of reining in, but how tight of a reining was the question. Any action against one of the President’s biggest supporters would have to be approved by Gates who now had one foot out the door. Dave felt that Gates would give him the green light, though. It was obvious to most Pentagon experts that Gates’s exit was a clear signal to the military-industrial complex that this President’s days were numbered. Numbered politically and numbered literally. He was creating many enemies in America and he now was on thin ice while the country continued to flounder and sink into oblivion.

Nevertheless the Soros-Iranian-Venezuelan sinking of the Deepwater Horizon was about to see a little push-back as the 587th day of the Obama Presidency was finishing up details on the disruption of the 9/11 demonstration in New York City.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Obama - Qu'ran Burning - Ground Zero Mosque - 2:22 P.M. Wednesday September 8th 2010


Somewhere in Ohio, the President’s personal assistant alerted him. “Mr. President, I have the Imam on the line, do you want him?” “God, yeah,” he said. As he took the cell phone from his assistant, he moved over to a more private area while most of the students that came to hear him were leaving. “Yes, Imam, thanks for finally getting back to me. You know, I did call you last week?” “Yeah, ahuh ahuh ahuh.” Yeah, but you know when the President of the United States calls you, you’d think you would call me back as soon as possible, and anyway where the hell are you now?” “Yeah, ahuh ahuh ahuh.” Yeah, but you know Imam this isn’t working out, this Mosque thing. I’m facing a shit-storm over here, while you’re globe-trotting on the taxpayers. Everybody is pissed at you and now the country is doing an anger transfer from you to me and it’s not pretty. Anyway, you’re not really there are you? My God if the press got a hold of this…..geez.”
The President remained on the phone as he struggled with one of the biggest problems facing him, and that was saying something. “What, what, you want me to what? I don’t think so, Imam. That’s not going to work. Yeah, ahuh ahuh ahuh, yes, Imam I hear you, but that’s’ going to be a pretty hard trick to pull on the American people. You know getting America to pay for this thing would be a stretch, don’t you think, I mean really?

In the middle of the President’s conversation he saw another incoming call on his phone’s screen from the Qu’ran burning Minister in Florida. Oh God, he thought, not him, not now. “Listen Imam, I’m going to have to get back with you, and we’ll talk when you get back from Tehran, okay?”

He pressed the two special off-on buttons on the encrypted phone as the Qu’ran burning Minister started quoting proverbs from the Holy Bible, while the President tried to get a word in edgewise. “Listen, Qu’ran burning Minister, sorry, I mean Minister, you can’t do this, it’s not right. Anyway I’m in a shit-storm over here and the whole country is mad at me for looking like a Muslim. I need a little help from you guys down there. I’ve been thinking about this, and I’d like to make you a deal. I saw the pictures of that shit-hole church you’ve got down there, and, well, why don’t we just buy you a brand new church, okay? How’s that sound? But you have to promise me you won’t burn that fuck’n book.”

As the President finished up his deal with the Qu’ran burning Minister in Florida he thought he now had some leverage with the American people to fund the Mosque at Ground Zero as the 586th day of the Obama Presidency scheduled a beer party with the Imam and the Qu’ran burning Minister from Florida.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Obama - Burn the Qu'ran and You Die?- 5:33 P.M. Tuesday September 7th 2010

“Who the hell asked him,” the President said to Valerie Jarrett regarding General Petraeus’s comment on the burning of a Qu'ran by a Christian pastor in Florida. The General waded into the controversy voluntarily and presidentially. His long arm reached halfway around the globe and it pissed off the President to no end. To think that a commanding General in a battlefield setting would have the sensitivity and power to direct actions at home was a first. With all of the Presidents efforts to muzzle the General and assign him to run the Afghan war he still had the in-tel on the ground in the U.S. to respond with laser like efficiency. It boded well his ability to run just about anything, including the country.


It was now perfectly clear to the President that General Petraeus would be running against him for the Presidency in 2012. Well, that was if Hillary didn’t snatch the Democrat nomination from his grasp. That would be the ultimate insult, for a woman or for that matter anyone to dethrone this incumbent President. It would be like a death by a thousand cuts for this delicate ego.

It was the first day back for the American people who tried desperately not to spend any more money than necessary during the three day Labor Day weekend. They came back to a stock market that wanted to roll over and die. Other business indicators also pointed to a lethargic economy and most workers prayed their jobs wouldn’t be next on the chopping block.

With that said, above the fray, the Generals words to stop the burning of a Qu'ran, echoed with clarity to the American people. It seemed that America was now at another crossroads. Several weeks ago it encountered the building of a Ground Zero Mosque and was so divisive it created a schism between Christians and Muslims that was still widening. The burning of this Qu'ran by a Christian minister was an escalation of the ever growing conflict between the two great religions.

Unfortunately, for the President and his followers in congress, the connecting of the dots between Islam and his gang, lead right to their doorstep. They knew they would pay dearly politically for their mistake of associating themselves with the Muslim cause. The President of course had his own personal feelings on the matter that the entire country now knew, but the leaders of the liberal left were being executed due to guilt by association.

America was finally waking up to the raw fact that they were now in a religious war. The simple burning of a book and the building of a Mosque had become the last line drawn in the sand and those words, “you’re either with us, or against us,” echoed again throughout the country.

Whether the minister burned the book or not on 9/11, it didn’t matter, it was now in every Americans face and it wasn’t ever going to go away as the 585th day of the Obama Presidency headed for the bomb shelter.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Obama- I'm Not Your Dog, Bark, Bark - 3:32 P.M. Monday September 6th 2010

Rahm’s unsecured cell phone rang as he flipped burgers in his backyard for the family. Only a close friend or Chicago political associate would be calling him on that phone, so he ignored it until all the burgers were off the grill. After a few minutes he slipped into the kitchen and took a peek at the caller ID number that still remained on the screen. Wow, he thought to himself, why would he be calling me on Labor Day? Rahm quickly called him back as he moved to his home-office near the front of the house. He spent over an hour in deep discussion and finally said good bye to Mayor Daley of Chicago. He spun his executive chair around as it made three complete spins that made him a bit dizzy. Rahm had a smile on his face a mile wide, he was going back to Chicago. Thank God, the timing couldn’t be more perfect for him. Mayor Daley was not running for Mayor next term and the keys to the most corrupt political machine in the country would be all his. The President was killing his reputation and would take him down with him if he stayed any longer. Now he had his out, and could go back to Chicago and run “corruption central.”


Meanwhile, his boss was in Wisconsin addressing a bunch of union zombies who would have clapped at anything. Unfortunately, after all of the preparation on his speech he decided to momentarily veer away from it. This was a big mistake, for the increasingly angry President. Not only did he depart from his speech but he told the crowd that he was doing so, not a good idea. He went on to explain how his critics were now talking about him like a dog, which most in America found offensive. After all most dogs are loved by their owners and are treated like part of the family and in most cases, better. Nevertheless he was pouting and the world was watching. He forgot that the world was always watching as everything he was now touching was recklessly turning to crap.

The editor of the New York Times called him on his way back from Wisconsin and told him of an opinion article penned by his former O.M.B. head Peter Orszag. Orszag insisted in the article that the Bush tax cuts be extended for another two years. That sure as hell wasn’t going to happen, he thought, as he told him to run the article but to mention that he would be clarifying his position on the matter on Wednesday of this week.

Assassins’ assassins’ everywhere, he thought has AF-1 touched down at Edwards. Who would be next to stick another knife into him? Well that question would be answered soon enough as Steve Rattner’s publicist prepared his sound bites for the release of his tell-all book on the automaker takeover that occurred last year. Mr. Rattner would not be kind to his former boss as he explained how much disdain the President had for the auto executives. If Hugo Chavez came to the readers mind while reading the book they’d be right as the 584th day of the Obama Presidency looked around for a Milk-bone doggie biscuit.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Obama - Prince Al-Waleed The Puppet Master - 3:10 P.M. Sunday September 5th 2010

The President took a break from reviewing the speech he was to deliver in Wisconsin tomorrow. Being Labor Day it would be heavy on jobs and light on how to create them. Anyway, it was more of a photo-op for him to help rally his base of union members. The President was fresh out of ideas on how to stop the ever increasing joblessness in the country, well, let’s just say it appeared that way.

He sat outside on the flagstone patio adjacent to his office at Camp David and lit up. He took a deep drag. As the smoke slowly emitted from his mouth, he thought back to his well planned past. Plans that were not of his making. He was bought way back, and he knew it. His drive to get into college and law school with limited funds forced him to sell his soul to the highest bidder.

It was back in the late eighties when he first met Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal, the architect that created him. He remembered back then just how driven the Prince was. He was always going a hundred miles an hour while juggling three balls and never dropping one. Barack was chosen by the Prince along with many others and he knew it, but he was the winner of this race to the White House. As for the others who were in the competition, he didn’t know their identities, but he sure as hell knew he was competing with them and they had to be some of the best minds around. Prince Al-Waleed put into practice what he learned in our colleges here in the states, but in more of a perverted way. His major was Social Sciences and he was out to change America in the name of Allah. He knew with the crumbling morals and weakening Christian faith that dominated the United States the country was ripe for Islam. It would be the new Promised Land for the Quran and he felt destined to change the country and eventually the world.

The Prince had already worked his way into Harvard in 1988 with his family’s Saudi oil money. That’s when he planted his seeds, watered them and watched them grow into a crop of followers. He knew if one failed another would take his place and thus the final emergence of Barack Hussein Obama, President of the United States and the first Muslim to hold that office. Ever since Barack’s inauguration in 2009 the Prince thought to himself how wonderful America was that you could go from the destruction of the World Trade Towers to the White House in eight short years. Even Mohammed would be proud of that accomplishment.

With the Prince on board to finance his every move, all he had to do was sit back and look pretty. As media empires were bought into by the Prince to influence the masses as how to think about this man from virtually nowhere, his God-like popularity grew. Just scattered bloggers on the Internet connected the dots to this unbelievable hoax pulled on the American people and with no public contact between them; no one even knew they knew each other.

He finished his second cigarette and still couldn’t believe that it worked as smoothly as it did as the 583rd day of the Obama Presidency heard thunder off in the distance.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Obama - Soros and the Deepwater Horizon Blowout Valve - Noon Saturday September 4th 2010

The President finished some details to his meaningless job's initiative to be released after the long Labor Day weekend. His concentration was broken by a call from his future Secretary of State, Mayor Bloomberg of New York City, who had just finished a plate of fogra and polenta on the veranda of his penthouse suite on Manhattan Island. The mayor discussed an upcoming 9/11 burning of the Quran at Ground Zero that was to be done by a Florida cracker who is a Christian minister from Gainesville. After a few minutes it was decided that the minister was to be arrested and charged with hate crimes against the Muslim religion along with a host of other miscellaneous nuisance charges. Most likely there would be additional Federal charges coming from Mr. Holder’s office with an additional arrest and incarceration until he came up with a five million dollar bail. The President's intension was to crush any anti-Muslim demonstration that involved the holy Muslim book or the image of Mohammad. It was okay to burn a bible in the public square but not a Quran according to this President who had just spent forty minutes in a rustic setting at Camp David praying on George’s East-African prayer rug.

As he put the phone down he got an encrypted text from the head of the F.B.I. that all was proceeding as planned. Now the real problems would start, he thought, as the Coast Guard along with every law enforcement agency in the country observed the Deepwater Horizon blowout valve as it was raised to the surface of the Gulf of Mexico. The smoking gun, as they say, was now being photographed, videotaped, poked and prodded. The C.I.A., BP and himself, oh and Rahm, knew what they’d find, but all were restricted from releasing any information.

The Soros dirty tricks department should have done their homework, he thought. By missing the BP video cameras far beneath the surface, this whole operation could become very embarrassing. In the midnight raid, the underwater lights from the Iranian saboteurs were enough for most of BP’s cameras to pick up the action that led to the sinking of the Horizon. The C.I.A. was now using the videos they burgled from BP to do just about anything they wanted including intimidate the Administration. So it now came down to how well he could keep the lid on as the 582nd day of the Obama Presidency called George in Switzerland.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Obama - The Three Stooges - 11:33 A.M. Friday September 3rd 2010

Biden wanted out and was looking more like an economic buffoon as head of the stimulus program that wasn’t stimulating. Every time he said “all was well” in his addresses to the American people, the more they laughed at him. It was really starting to get to him. Even his own son who just came back from Iraq was wondering about his dad’s character. After all, being the son of Vice President Bite-me was a hard row to hoe. The U.S. military was not exactly a bastion of un-American liberal thought.


Hillary Clinton his Secretary of State, last week was on the Hamptons stealing the President’s big money supporters. She was doing it secretly along with her vastly more popular husband former President Bill Clinton. Bill’s polls were now much higher than his, which was a new reality for the egocentric President. The thought that this ex-President and his wife, as President, would be occupying the White House during the time he should be serving his second term just angered him beyond compare. The President felt deep in his heart that Bill was a racist and used the black vote. He thought Hillary, led by Bill, would drag the black vote further onto the Democrat plantation. He knew this move by Hillary was coming since his poll numbers were now approaching the thirties and the looming disaster of the midterm elections were going to be blamed mostly on him along with the liberal leadership in congress.

Rahm couldn’t think straight from all the prescription drugs his doctor was prescribing him, but even in his current state of mind he was advising the President on the right moves to make, if only he would listen to him. Rahm wanted out too. He was eyeing Mayor Daly’s job in Chicago and it would be easier on the family living back home in the windy city. Anyway, he knew he could make a hell of a lot more money running the most corrupt city in the country than playing nursemaid to a President that doesn’t listen to good advice.

The President knew a Saturday night type flushing was coming of his inner circle, but which Saturday was still in question. Bloomberg was now on board to replace Hillary as Secretary of State with a quick move up to V.P. with Bite-me’s timed departure as the 581st day of the Obama Presidency charted the course of his fractured and discredited administration.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Obama - The Pressure of the Job - 7:22 A.M. Thursday September 2nd 2010

Rahm was upstairs in his master bathroom getting ready for a meeting with the President when he heard some tapping at the window just to the left of his oval Jacuzzi-tub that dominated the room. Funny, he thought, this is the second floor, what the hell could be doing that? He was naked and his face was all lathered up with shaving cream. Rahm slowly walked over to the window that was half open with an outside screen in place. He peered out and saw nothing except the green grass of his backyard and the six foot wall that surrounded the place. He went back to the mirror and started over again when it happened again. He wondered if he was imagining all of this. Ever since the Stripper episode his doctor had him on antidepressants to calm the anxieties that he developed from Stripper's exploding head on that Sunday afternoon almost two months ago.


This time he moved quickly on his well trained tippy-toes and caught a glimpse of someone’s hand which was impossible at this height. He quickly opened the window,  pushed the screen out, and it tumbled to the ground. He pushed half of his body out the window to get a better look as two arms grabbed him and ejected the rest of his naked body out the window. With a perfect pirouette and a flip of his body this old Balleroux hit the grass flat on his back.

Still, there was no one as his eyes opened and he checked for broken bones. The shaving cream was now smeared all over his naked body. He was a mess as he got to his feet while neighbors started looking out their windows and calling 911. “Yes, operator he’s about five foot two, kind of like a midget and he’s running around the back yard with white stuff all over his body, and he’s, he’s naked, too” old lady Murphy said to the 911 attendant. Rahm, knowing he was in trouble, tried to get in through the back door but the entire house was locked. His wife was in Chicago with the kids and he was left home alone, naked and without a key on him, actually you could say he had nothing on him. He remembered that there was a key hidden near the front door in case the kids forgot theirs, so he made a beeline right for it, forgetting that he was naked and that there were always two or three press trucks camped out front with cameras, everywhere.

As he sprinted towards the front door overlooking the cameras that were now snapping like Fourth of July firecrackers he slipped on his wet grass and landed in the wife’s freshly planted flower bed. Naked and with fresh fertilizer mixed in with the shaving cream, he now looked like he had a nasty case of psoriasis. Reporters hovered around his naked body with cameras and recorders asking furiously why he looked this way, as five, not two, but five patrol cars pulled up. With two shakes of a lamb’s tail the boys in blue Tasered him on the spot, as the 580th day of the Obama Presidency awoke Rahm from his electrifying nightmare.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Obama - The President and Mr. Lee - 1:33 P.M. September 1st 2010

Mr. Lee strapped on his vest filled with pipe-bombs and a Vote for Obama sticker stuck to the back. They were all connected to a dead-man-switch as he headed into the studios of the environmentally friendly Discovery Channel with the intension of convincing them to change their policy on environmental programming. In other words he didn’t think they were aggressive enough in saving the planet. As he walked into the commercial building, making sure his carbon footprint was as small as possible, the country stopped and watched this wacko who thought humans should be eradicated from the world, taking control of the TV station.


This news flash from the far left environmentalist movement which wholeheartedly supports the President has now given him another black eye, if it was possible to notice. The BP sinking of the Deepwater Horizon exposed many of the flaws in these tree huggers' theories and the country was now looking at them as though they were a bunch of crazies. Most in the country already knew this but finally the people on the fence could now see just how nuts they really were. It seemed that since this President took office all of the nut jobs had been emboldened to express their radical agendas by letting them boil to the surface as though nobody would do anything about it.

While the hostage situation went on for about six hours until Mr. Lee was shot dead, the President was continuing to help with the Middle East peace process which he was hosting. He really wasn’t helping; you could say it was more like observing. This President had no idea how to handle the negotiations between these lifelong foes. So much blood had been spilled between them he was actually intimidated by the eyes of these men who were not interested in bullshit from a cutesy inexperienced community organizer from Chicago. They wanted real guidance that he couldn’t provide.

He occasionally walked outside during the negotiations for a cigarette which he wasn’t hiding anymore. During one of these episodes his thoughts left the dilemma at hand and drifted onto the global warming kook that had taken so many hostages in Silver Springs. From what he was told this guy had read Al Gore’s book and watched his movie on global warming. Environmental jihad was a noble cause to him and he could see why someone would blow up a couple thousand people for the environmental movement. But with his Cap and Trade Bill floundering in the Senate he knew he would get flack from the right about this guy and his connection to the biggest hoax of the twenty-first century as the 579th day of the Obama Presidency went back inside to look for his second golf bag.